Month: July 2020

Show or Tell?

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You hear it all the time: Show, Don’t Tell…but just what does it mean? And how do you avoid telling? After all, you are telling the story, aren’t you? Well, that may just be the predicament. To make it clearer, we really should refer to stories as being shown…just as movies are shown. We want our readers to experience the story…not be told what happened as if it were a newspaper article. Are we reporting the facts or showing active events?

As you write, envision your tale as a movie…show what can be seen, avoid telling. How many movies have a voice over to explain things? Probably not very many—if any at all. In fact, you’d probably be offended if a movie told you that the main character was angry…instead of showing him slowly crumpling up the note she’d left for him. Would you consider walking out If the voice over told you that the girlfriend was sad, instead of showing her devouring half a chocolate cake, washing it down with beer? You’d feel as if the producers thought you were an idiot if the cop stood in the doorway, scanning the room…and the voice over told you, “Sergeant Murphy looked for clues.” Yet many times, we see authors doing just that…telling instead of letting the reader figure out for himself what the characters are thinking or feeling.

You’ll find that most of your readers are pretty smart…think about it…they picked up your book, didn’t they? That’s a good clue that they know a few things already. Imagine that they are reading your book because they want to enjoy a bit of escape from the cold, cruel world. Give them something they can really get into.

Examples

Now we’re going to get into specific instances that could be found in novels all across the web. In most cases, the expanded showing gives you an opportunity to give the reader more insight into the characters than the curt telling does.

  • Amy was cold.
    • Amy pulled her collar tighter around her neck, turned away from the frigid breeze, and shivered slightly.
  • Bob was tall.
    • Bob could have played center on a basketball team…if it weren’t for the fact that his gangly limbs flew in all directions every time he tried to run.
  • Carl was tired.
    • Carl stared off into the distance, only occasionally rubbing his eyes and shrugging if anyone spoke to him directly.
  • David looked as if he’d slept in his clothes.
    • David tottered out of the bedroom, his sweater wrapped half way around one arm, his pants crumpled up almost to his knees.
  • Eric drove an old car.
    • Eric tooled around town in his classic Chevy, every surface polished until it gleamed.
    • Eric managed to get to the 7-11 with all the parts still attached to his old rust bucket.
  • Frank squinted at the rising sun.
    • Frank winced in pain as the first rays of the morning’s sun pierced into his bloodshot eyes.
  • George liked what he saw when he met Holly.
    • George sucked in his breath as Holly entered the room, feeling as if the whole building were spinning.
  • Holly enjoyed her date with George.
    • Holly gazed at George, entranced by his stories, hardly touching the expensive meal at the fanciest restaurant in town.
  • It was mid-winter.
    • Snow draped the bare trees, pushing their branches closer to the ground.

Sometimes You Need to Tell

Just because you constantly hear Show, Don’t Tell, doesn’t make it a hard and fast rule that must be obeyed at all costs. Occasionally telling is the right thing to do. A newspaper article demands that you report the facts…the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The same thing can apply to fiction as well: often the glossed over facts will suffice.

We can’t follow the Main Character around all the time. You will always have moments when the camera fades to black, time passes, and we refocus on a new scene. You can summarise what happened during the blackout in a short paragraph or two. For example:

  • John fumed about the conversation last night. Kelly was getting really demanding…insisting that he get a job. She knew her income was plenty for the two of them, but he’d give it a try. He walked into the doughnut shop, put his elbows on the counter, and said, “Got a manager back there?”

That short paragraph gives us enough information about what went on last night that we don’t really need to hear or see the whole thing—we can imagine the worst.

Minor characters can get their few seconds in the spotlight then move on, some without even being named:

  • The girl behind the counter was surprised by the request.

Compress the passing of time into a telling paragraph:

  • Spring came and went, and John still hadn’t found anyone to hire him.

Add a bit of backstory in either a flashback…or a telling paragraph:

  • John remembered back to how his father had worked for a construction company. He shook his head. “Nah, that’s not for me.”

When you need to tell, go ahead, but keep it short to avoid boring your readers.

Follow the Rules…Sometimes

Showing…Telling…which to use, and when? Using both appropriately will thrill your readers and entertain them as well. Show to bring them into the story—Tell to move them quickly to the next exciting spot. For readers to experience your story, they need to be shown, but not shown too much. Used judiciously both will work for you.

Maybe it should be Show and Tell.

Pomodoro Technique

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Today we are going to explain how to use a timing system to increase your productivity. This process was developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s and is named for the Italian word for tomato…because that’s what the timer looked like that he used as he was creating the process.

Timing

We use a modified version of the official technique that lasts a total of two and a half hours. It seems to be the best combination for our tasks.

  • Step 0: Plan—5 minutes—Plan what you are going to do in this round
  • Step 1: Research—25 minutes—Gather info directly related to the task
    • Rest: 5 minutes—Get away from the task (escape from the keyboard)
  • Step 2: Write—25 minutes—Combine and record info collected
    • Rest: 5 minutes—Get away from the task (escape from the keyboard)
  • Step 3: Flow—25 minutes—Do initial clean-up of work produced
    • Rest: 5 minutes—Get away from the task (escape from the keyboard)
  • Step 4: Edit—25 minutes—Edit, close, and backup files
    • Rest: 30 minutes—Get out of the office (take a real break)
  • Loop: Go back to plan the next task

We have found that by doing a couple Loops each day, one early and one later in the day, helps us keep focused on tasks and increases useable output. (The rest of the day we spend resolving the interruptions we’ve set aside—usually just putting out fires.)

How We Use It

We have an agreement here at Turner Editing…if we see someone with a timer running or a “Do Not Disturb” sign posted, we just leave a note on the corner of their desk. We know they’ll get to it as soon as they finish a loop.

Sometimes there are urgent issues that can’t wait. In that case, we are forced to pause the timer and set aside the current task, take care of the intrusion, then restart the same 25 minute Step when returning. Depending on where the interruption came in the Step, that Step may end up getting almost double the time, but with the distraction, it may take all of that extra time to refocus and complete the Step.

If you feel you’ve completed an individual Step but there’s still time left in that Step, you can review what you’ve done so far, lean back and consider what you’ve learned from the process and seek to improve it, or review upcoming tasks to let your subconscious start working on them. There is no stopping early—use the full allotted time to your advantage before moving on to the next Step.

Online Timers

As expected, there are a bunch of different online options to help with this. We’ll list a few and give some pointers.

  • Pomofocus has some settings that you can adjust in the free version and more that require the paid version, but you can’t change the sound at all (a ringing alarm clock). Also the volume is so low that you might miss it if you have a heavy hand when you’re typing.
  • Tomato Timers has a very nice chime as the end of step sound as well as a pause and reset button.
  • Marinara Timer has very big numbers and a choice of interesting sounds.
  • Pomodoro Tracker has a choice of sounds as well as some ticking sounds during each step—a bit intrusive. It does have an option to notify you when there’s only one minute left.
  • The Pomodoro timer in Online Timers seems to be programmable for a variety of timing situations, but it’s too complicated for common use.
  • Eggtimer is fairly straightforward and even has a one-step Pomodoro timer. (If you are daring enough, check out the HTML source and build an entire Pomodoro Loop!)
  • My Tomatoes requires a login just to get started, so we didn’t bother to test it.
  • Online Stopwatch has too many pushy adverts to be useful.

We find that the Tomato Timer is about as basic as it can get…just a timer, no task tracking, no adverts, few options, but we like it the best just for those reasons. The default settings don’t match our timing, so the first thing we do is change the Long Break to 30 minutes, then adjust the sound and volume. We prefer the Doorbell sound as it isn’t too intrusive—we don’t want to get startled out of a deep concentration by a fire siren!

Physical Timers

Of course, if you want to go with the real thing, plenty of timers are available…some of which even look similar to the original tomato timer! If you prefer a physical timer sitting on your desk, we have to recommend any of the Time Cube timers. They come with pre-set times, so you have to pick the one that has the times you need. We like the purple one, even though it doesn’t have a 25 minute setting. We just use a 20 minute plus a 5 minute stretch, so we’ve got a warning that time is running low. Some of our editors prefer the red one that does have a 25…just no 30, so they take their long break with a 20+10. The Time Cube company even has some lovely cubes made of bamboo for a more natural look.

Chekhov’s Gun

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An important principle in writing is that anything the author mentions needs to be significant. If you tell us, then we believe it and look forward to finding out why. The same thing applies to details when describing things. If you tell us some particular piece of information, then we know it must be important…either to the story or to developing the characters. You can’t just fill your book with random items and descriptions. Readers will come away still trying to make sense of it all.

So Why is it Chekhov’s Gun?

Anton Chekhov was a Russian who wrote plays and short stories in Russian during the late 19th century. Although a physician first and a writer second (He himself said, “Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress.”), Anton supported his family with his writing. He has also been listed as one of the most influential writers of all time. He claimed that artists were to ask questions…not answer them, so as his writing matured, he experimented with his style, and those changes have shaped the modern short story.

“Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”
—Anton Chekhov

He is well known for a variety of things, but the one that interests us here is his quote about what you put into your story (see box to the right). His intent was to ensure that any item mentioned in a story actually had relevance—make certain that everything you put in needs to be there. You aren’t allowed to mention anything, even as small as a flower outside the window…unless that flower becomes relevant to either the story or the development of the character. If you point out something, your readers will go with it…and wait to see how it applies to the story later on. If it never does, they can be disappointed. (And we don’t want disappointed readers, do we?)

Descriptions Count, Too

In a similar vein, you can’t mislead readers by very carefully describing a room…unless that description reveals some piece of information that makes a difference to the story or the characters. (A general description is fine…and necessary.) Also, if you mention some product-specific detail when describing an item, make certain that it’s necessary. When introducing a fast car, just say, “a red, two-door, sports car”—not “a 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1 with headers and a spoiler.” The reader can picture whatever kind of car seems to fit. Same with firearms. Just say, “an automatic pistol”—not “an Israeli-made Jericho 941F 9mm with Cherrywood, cross-ground grips.” A can of soda is just a can of soda—not “a can of Coke with the classic logo on it, dented on one side.”

Of course, if the specific make, model, colour, or condition really is important to the story, then, yes, go ahead and include it, but make certain that it is absolutely needed. Irrelevant details tend to distract from the action.

Who is Your Target Reader?

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Before you get too far in writing, it is a good idea to identify your Target Reader. That’s the person (singular) you have in mind when telling your story. It’s always easier to picture one individual as your reader…and you can just sit down and tell them what you want to tell the whole world. That’s what you write…just as if you were face to face with them…keep it casual and don’t try to impress them with your vocabulary. For the first few stories I wrote down, I pictured my kids. Of course, those stories started off as bedtime stories to those kids, so it was easy to keep them in mind as I put it all down on paper.

Who is Your Target Market?

There are a LOT of people out there…and some of them don’t care to read what you’ve written, but there’s a fragment of them that would dearly love to read your stuff…so how do you find them? In the marketing world, a differentiation is made between a Target Market and a Target Audience. I’ll try to explain the difference…and why it’s important.

Your Target Market are folks who might be interested in your product (your book). They tend to share attributes that you can identify: age, location, interests, available time, etc. If you’ve written a book about the origins of the street names in Sacramento, then you’d be aiming for 40-60 year olds, living in or around Sacramento, with an interest in history, who have plenty of spare time to go exploring the city. On the other hand, if you’ve written a Sci-Fi adventure book, your market would include 15-30 year olds, living anywhere in the US, who find escape in reading, and have time during a commute to read a chapter a day.

You probably are included in your own Target Market…because you’re writing what you like to read, right?

Who is Your Target Audience?

Your Target Audience are the folks that you can send your message to. You couldn’t possibly tell all the folks in your Target Market about your book…you only have so many resources. Most first-time authors (especially self-published ones) are likely to do their own marketing, so they have to use the methods available to them. (Yes, you could hire a company to blanket the world, but could you really afford it at this point? And what would the payoff be?)

Using social networking to share info about your book is a typical approach. You could even set up an author page (besides your personal page) to focus your efforts. Other ideas include bookmarks or info cards that you could drop off at local libraries or bookstores. If you manage to join in a multi-author book signing or have a big release party for you book, you might want to invest in a full-sized poster to stand next to your table.

Any way you get the message out will help with sales.

The Overlap

Those sales come from the overlap between your Market and your Audience. When you send out your adverts, you’ll be aiming for your Audience, but there will be some folks in your Market who won’t get the message…and there will be others, in your Audience, who will get your message but aren’t in your Market. Your objective is to widen your Audience enough to encompass as much of your Market as you can.

Analysing your Market and your Audience may be tough, but once you start getting sales, you can check to see how accurate your predictions are…and adjusting either could result in more sales…always a good thing!

Author Intrusion

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  • This is a long and involved topic. If you’re unhappy about the length, please let us know. We’ll try to keep future discussions a bit shorter. Thanks!

First time writers (as well as a few seasoned authors) are likely to insert their opinions into their writing…whether they are aware of it or not, and that’s just the trouble. You need to know when it’s your characters talking or your narrator telling the story…and not you lecturing the reader. New writers need to remember that the story is intended to be viewed through the characters in a fictional world.

Readers are here for the character’s story…not the author’s opinion on things. They want to imagine that the world you’ve created is real. Any intrusions can distract or confuse readers when it upsets the flow, and it’s annoying, too. Readers will be disappointed that they’ve been kicked out of the story by the interruption.

Now, it’s perfectly fine for characters to have opinions…it adds to their personality, but it needs to fit in the story. The problem is that the author has to create all the characters…including the protagonist…he just has to be careful to not inadvertently create a copy of himself. As much as you may want to, you don’t get to live in your story world vicariously through your creations. Yes, they are your creations, and you are the god of this world, but although they may be made in your image, they are not you. You are the author, not a character in the story. Escapism is one thing, but you can’t get there from here.

On the other hand, using personal experience is not intrusion. If you’ve lived through a car crash, then having your characters succumb to the same physical and emotional trauma you experienced is perfectly fine. The feelings you had, when felt by your characters, helps make your world seem real.

Examples

There are a few different places where Author Intrusion shows up. We are going to address two main areas, but there are others, so keep an eye out for them.

Politics

Some intrusions come about due to trying to be politically correct. If your antagonist really is a bad guy, then he should think and talk like one, no holds barred. There is no need to comment on his badness.

  • “Those weirdos from Mars should all be rounded up and dumped on an island,” Paul said. It wasn’t the right thing to do, but that’s how he felt.

It’s obviously not Paul who thinks it isn’t right…that’s the author letting us know that he doesn’t think it’s right. On the other hand, Paul does think it’s right. In his mind, that’s what needs to be done—he’s a bad guy, through and through, but that’s fine, as antagonists often are. You need to remember that the characters you create are not you. They can be, and often are, very different from you, the author. If the readers can’t figure out that Paul is in the wrong, then it isn’t your job to tell them.

An author’s personal opinions shouldn’t come out of the mouths of characters who obviously don’t feel that way.

  • Erik knelt and placed his spear point down, in deference to the untouched maiden in front of him.

Virginity may be a Judeo-Christian concept held in high esteem, but to the Vikings, it wasn’t even considered. Be careful to avoid writing into your story notions that don’t fit in with the time, locale, or civilisations you are depicting.

Knowledge

Frequently concepts that should be foreign to the characters…but obviously not to the author or readers…somehow get mentioned.

  • William hefted his sword, blocking the sunlight glaring off his opponent’s shield, desperately in need of a good pair of sunglasses.

Hello? The medieval knight wants sunglasses? Not likely. The author would want them in that situation, and any reader would understand the need, but the character shouldn’t be thinking that. You need to keep modern thoughts out of your historical character’s minds…unless William is a time traveller! That would make all the difference.

Knowledge common to readers and authors…but not to characters…can slip in if you’re not careful. Also any research you’ve done can influence your knowledge, but unless the characters have access to the same source of information, they can’t comment on it.

  • “Watson, come here. I need you,” Bell said into the first functional telephone, not knowing that in the future everyone would carry one in their pockets.

If he doesn’t know it, then it shouldn’t be here.

Research done by the author to add a semblance of reality needs to be suppressed if the characters wouldn’t know it.

  • Mike leaned over and whispered, “You mean it will go boom, like when U-235 is impacted by a neutron and splits into Krypton, a noble gas, and Barium, an alkaline earth metal?”

No one actually talks like that, not even an expert in the field of atomic fission, but an author who has over-researched the topic might feel he has to share what he’s learned…and instead of telling us in narrative, he forces one of his characters to spout the nonsense, thinking he can then blame the character for it.

Let the characters speak for themselves.

Avoiding Intrusion

Try to picture the story from the viewpoint of your characters. If you’ve created full characters, not flat ones, they will know what they want to say and do, so let them. Step back from your writing, as you’re writing it…and afterwards. Put it on a shelf for a couple weeks, then read it over again. If anything seems out of place, it probably is. There’s nothing wrong with general knowledge and familiarity with how things work, but the details need to be left up to experts, not your commonplace characters.

Your Beta Readers and Critique Partners will often point out places where it sounds like you talking, not the characters. If you can’t see it, they will. Take their advice and clean it up. If there are certain words that you use in normal life, watch out for your characters using them, too. You may be an expert in some field, but are your characters? Let them go consult an expert in the story, not have all the knowledge they need right at hand.

When you try to balance things out by putting in a character who has a different opinion than you do, but then make him look stupid for that, then you are revealing how you really feel about the topic. Each character should have his or her own personality, different from each other and you. If the reader stops to question the motivation of a character, there is something wrong.

Don’t worry if your Beta Readers or Critique Partners don’t catch it…your editor should, but do you really want to rely on the skills of others? Or would you rather just do it right the first time?

Intentional Intrusion

There are times when you may want to include Author Intrusion as a literary device. That’s fine to do, just make certain that your readers know that’s what you are doing. Many famous authors have done so with impunity. If you feel you can follow in the footsteps of great authors, you are welcome to try, just consider the techniques of the successful ones first. In theatre and movies, this practice is known as breaking the fourth wall…the wall separating the audience from the action. If a character or the narrator turns and speaks directly to the audience, it won’t confuse your reader, just jump right in and say it.

Examples

Isaac Asimov was great for this, as he would often address the reader directly with “Dear Reader”. You knew he, as the author, was talking directly to you, as a reader, and it seemed so casual and direct that you welcomed the discussion he was having with you.

Of course, in non-fiction, it isn’t too much of a stretch to see the author as a teacher addressing students. In fiction, it could be a bit of a distraction to have the author step in and talk to the reader. You’re there for the action and excitement of the story…not a sit-down with someone who will be teaching you something, but it has been done…and can work quite well.

Charlotte Brontë speaks directly to the reader in setting up a scene. For example, consider this extract from Jane Eyre: “A new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and when I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a room in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on the walls as inns have; such a carpet, such furniture, such ornaments on the mantle-piece…”

Think about The Princess Bride…the author is telling us about having a story read to him by his father but written by someone else completely. That frees up Goldman to talk to the reader about the inner story being read. (Known as a Frame Story, it is a literary device all on its own.)

If you do decide to try your hand at intentional intrusion, be careful, as it can appear, if not done well, to be lazy writing. It is best used in satire or where the intrusion is obviously ironic. Good luck!