2 Basic

Discussions at a Beginner level

Finding the Right Word

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Generally when writing you’ll need a good set of reference books, including a good dictionary and a complete thesaurus. The problem often is that there are so many out there to choose from, it’s difficult to pick just one. We’ve got a few that we like that we’d like to share with you.

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”
—Mark Twain

Dictionary

The biggest caveat is make certain you pick one that matches your language and style. If you prefer British English (BE) over American English (AE), then stick with dictionaries published in Great Britain. If one makes you sound all stuffy and proper, but you prefer to write more casual and friendly, pick another.

Online dictionaries abound including American Heritage, Collins Unabridged, Dictionary.com (based on Random House Webster), Merriam-Webster, and of course, the OED (check with your local library to get free access) or Lexico (free, but powered by Oxford).

We prefer using Wiktionary, for completeness and keeping current with usage. On that point, we are aware that some words come and go in popularity, so we tend to consult the Ngram viewer in Google Books for timeliness of word use. (Very handy if you’re wanting to keep in tradition with a historical era.)

Thesaurus

Many dictionaries have a thesaurus as well, each with different tools that can guide you to the concept you need. Some are advert based, such as Thesaurus.com (tied to Dictionary.com), so just keep scrolling to find other word meanings.

Besides those, there are some rather unique methods of finding the right word.

  • Power Thesaurus lets you limit your search to specific parts of speech, so it might get you closer to the word you need. Be warned: it claims to be crowdsourced, so some of the connections are a bit vague.
  • Twin Word Writer has an interesting feature if you don’t mind typing your copy into a website. As long as you keep typing, it stays quiet in the background, but if you slow down or pause, it will make suggestions on the last word you’ve written. Pasting in a section of text will also allow you to dissect it for a variety of options such as the tone of your writing, a word-by-word count, or a list of tags that seem to apply. To get recommendations, just click on any word, then mouse over the list to see it in your sentence. There is no need to log in if you stick to the web based version, but don’t paste in too much at one time, just a few paragraphs should be enough. (Be advised: It doesn’t seem to understand apostrophes.)

Visual

  • Visuwords allows you to see the relationships between words. In the example given, I searched for the word ‘guts’ and got nouns (in blue) and adjectives (sorta yellow-orange). There didn’t happen to be any adverbs (would be shown in pink-red) or verbs (green). The line of red triangles shows that ‘guts’ is a colloquialism, and the stretched out, red diamonds connecting to ‘gutless’ shows it is an opposite. The long, skinny, teal triangle shows that ‘guts’ is a kind of ‘fortitude’…and ‘fortitude’ is a kind of ‘bravery’. The dotted grey line shows that ‘gutsy’ is derived from ‘guts’. Lots of info just on that one screen…but if you point to any dot, you’ll get a definition, and double-clicking will bring up the links to that Grabbing any dot and dragging will let you move dots on the edge back to the middle, so you can see them better.
  • Visual Thesaurus is another option that shows how words are related, and besides showing the parts of speech, you can actually limit (or focus on) the parts of speech you want. You only get a limited number of searches unless you sign up for the paid service, but if you plan to use this thesaurus often, it isn’t a bad deal: $20/yr…just don’t spend too much time playing around with it…get back to your writing!

Topic Sort

If you prefer printed reference books, make certain to get a topic-sorted thesaurus…not dictionary sort. The dictionary sort may be a bit quicker and easier when looking up one or two words because it is sorted alphabetically, but if you’re having problems find the right idea, a topic sort is much better. A dictionary sort puts ‘black’ and ‘blue’ fairly near each other, but ‘green’, ‘red’, and ‘yellow’ much farther away. In a topic sort, all the colours will be adjacent, often with opposites right next to each other.

For example, you can find Whiteness in section 430, immediately followed by Blackness in 431. That entry references section 421 just a couple pages back, Darkness, which proceeds Dimness, 422. So, if you don’t know exactly what colour the night sky is on a distant planet, you might find some good ideas here: Blackness gives ‘black as thunder’, Darkness has ‘the palpable obscure’, and Dimness offers ‘cloudy, misty, hazy, foggy, muggy, fuliginous, nebulous, lowering, overcast, crepuscular, muddy, lurid, and looming’. Take your pick!

Resist the Urge to Explain

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New writers tend to over explain things, telling the reader details that are either irrelevant altogether or just not needed right now. It’s true that a reader just picking up a new book knows nothing about the background or the characters or the setting or any of the situation, but instead of telling everything, try just showing a little bit about things as they come up in the action.

In general, you shouldn’t need to explain anything…readers are smart enough to figure out what’s going on…given the enough info. Besides, doling out details as the story progresses is a good way to keep the reader interested. Most readers want to anticipate what is going to happen next…and love to be wrong. Holding back tidbits of info keeps up the mystery and tension, leading to escalating conflict…exactly what we want, but you have to take care that you don’t withhold too much…aim for the Goldilocks zone, not too hot, not too cold.

Often new writers feel that they need to describe all the details of a scene…in spite of the fact that those details never play a role in the story—that could cause Purple Prose. Sometimes writers want to include all the interesting facts they’ve discovered when researching some point of the story—that could lead to an Info Dump. Both of these situations could be cured by considering Chekhov’s Gun and cutting anything that doesn’t belong. When the author’s opinion is used to justify things that are in the story, that is Author Intrusion.

Here, we are going to examine two other places where extraneous info tends to collect: dialogue and new technology…in Sci-Fi, Fantasy, or just near-future stories. We’ll look at how you can cut back on the specifics and still have your story understood.

Dialogue

We should be able to tell how your characters are feeling by the way they say things. If not, adding on an explanation in the tag doesn’t really help. This problem crops up when adverbs get stuck on tags. Instead of adverbs, try a short action instead, and trust your reader to figure it out.

  • Unnecessary adverb
    • “I’m sorry,” Bill said apologetically.
    • “I’m so happy,” Dawn said brightly.
  • Action that shows emotion
    • “I’m sorry,” Bill said as he wiped a tear.
    • “I’m so happy,” Dawn said as she jumped up and gave Frank a hug.

On the other hand, unless it is necessary, try to avoid having characters tell us how they’re feeling. Put it into action and let us see their emotions. It should be obvious from the previous scene, but if not, then add in a few more clues.

  • Action instead of dialogue
    • Bill sat down next to Alice and put his arm around her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze.
    • Dawn’s face lit up as she ran across the room to greet Frank, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

Sarcasm is difficult to show in speech alone, so in those cases, it may be necessary to use a dialogue tag that shows an opposite emotion.

  • “I’m sorry you didn’t win,” Bill said with a grin, hefting the trophy over his head.
  • “I’m so happy,” Dawn said with a scowl, staring in shock at the test stick showing a blue plus.

The key is to watch out for any mention of a character’s emotion…when you find it, just cut it out. If the emotion is still obvious, then all’s well. If not, then rewrite the section until it is.

Technology

Although this problem is typical in Sci-Fi and Fantasy, it isn’t limited to those genres. If you are writing a contemporary novel, one of your characters might have a new-fangled cell phone (the Note 25.6 Mark II or iPhone 15.3A). Interrupting the story to explain the techie features doesn’t move the plot along—letting us see how the character uses it does. When introducing new technology, whether crucial to the story or not, it’s tempting to stop and discuss it…but don’t. If it isn’t clear what the gadget does from the way it’s used, then there’s a bigger problem.

An excellent example I’ve come across is when Heinlein casually mentions that a door ‘dilated’. He didn’t waste anyone’s time explaining it—he just let the reader assume that it was significantly different yet somehow similar to what we already know, and by not stating it outright, he gives a feeling of much more…a world that is so changed that dilating doors are routine and not worth commenting on.

Consider your audience on this, too. If I say, ‘phaser’, there are some readers who will know exactly what I mean…no need to explain anything. Then again, a slew of readers will have no idea what that entails. I could stop to explain it…or just move on and let them figure it out as we go. You decide how much detail you need to add to widen your audience…without boring those who already understand the reference.

Don’t Talk Down to Your Reader

In general, if you feel the need to explain, you may be assuming your readers are idiots…they aren’t. Ever tell a joke and have to explain the punchline? It didn’t go over very well, did it? The same thing happens when you interrupt the story to clarify what’s going on. Either the reader gets it…or you need to rewrite that section to give them better clues to understand it without disrupting the story.

Elevator Speech

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What do elevators have to do with writing…much less marketing? Maybe not much…but then again maybe everything—they could allow you the opportunity to access the Agents and Acquisitions Editors you need, so you can be discovered by one of the big presses. The term Elevator Speech came about because when an elevator is moving from floor to floor, you have a captive audience…and an chance to tell them all about your book. There’s little reason for your hostages to politely complain…they just have to wait until the doors open, then they can escape, but until then, you have their attention.

Now, think what could happen at a writing conference…one of those folks trapped in the elevator with you could be just the person who has been ignoring your attempts to contact them. Too bad you don’t have a brief and pithy way to convince them that your book is worth their time…unless you’ve perfected your Elevator Speech! The idea is to give enough details, so they want to continue the conversation after they exit the elevator. Sometimes they truly have someplace to be and can’t continue right then and there, but if you’ve caught their interest, you can offer to exchange business cards, so the two of you can re-establish contact later.

How Long Should Your Speech Be?

Although these days Elevator Speeches are seldom actually presented in an elevator, but with speed pitching becoming the way to contact Agents, the concept remains: keep it short enough to avoid boring your listener. An average time for an elevator to go from one floor to the next is about 30 seconds, so your Elevator Speech shouldn’t be much longer than that.

Considering that the typical person speaks from between 100 and 150 words per minute, you need to keep your Elevator Speech to between 50 and 75 words. For more accuracy, count the syllables and divide by 4.5 to get an approximate number of seconds it will take.

In order to focus on the proper details, there are some facts you can, and should, leave out. As surprising as it may sound, you really don’t need the title. At this point, they don’t even know what your story is all about, so they don’t care about the title. After you capture their attention, they will ask you for more—that’s when you give the title and your name. The easiest way is with a business card that has your contact info and a Logline, so they’ll remember which one you are and why they’re interested.

What All Do You Need to Include?

So what do you put in? Similar to creating a Logline but with an emphasis on verbal expression, you need to include the same items:

  • The Main Character—description not name (as with title, irrelevant here), as an outsider would see him
  • A bit of Setting—just enough to set the general scene, time period, genre
  • The Inciting Event in Act I—no detail, just why things have changed
  • The Stakes—what could happen, what the risks are
  • Why the listener should care—the impact the book will have on readers or how they’ll feel after reading it

That covers all the facts, but it probably sounds a bit brusque…like a list. To make it more conversational, you should now fluff it up, improving the flow. Here you can add some style, so the reader will recognize you when he gets his hands on the book.

If we expand on the example we created back in Loglines, we could have something like this:

  • This book is about a former boy scout who wants one last great adventure before going his way in the adult world. Now in his early twenties and just about to finish college, he plans the ultimate campout with some fellow scouts. Using experimental technology, they travel far to experience a new world where they discover more about themselves than they expected and have to make some crucial decisions to ensure that all return safely.

At 75 words it’s right at the top end of the range where it should be, and with a speaking time of 36 seconds, if this is your Elevator Speech, you’d best talk just a bit fast (which shouldn’t be difficult!).

Practice to Perfection

Practice your Elevator Speech aloud a few times, so it becomes second nature. If there are any parts that make you stumble, fix them now before you go public with it. Let your friends and family get tired of hearing it. That way when the topic comes up, you can launch right into it without thinking.

Offer to share your speech with your local librarian. They have to consider thousands of books with only a few seconds to decide which to stock—take any suggestions they offer. Remember, you’re seeking advice, not compliments.

On a plane or a bus, you have a captive audience of one, so ask your seatmate what they think of the idea. Start with your logline, then move on to your Elevator Speech…one caveat: if they seem interested, don’t start unveiling all the details, scene-by-scene. Just thank them for their input and offer a postcard (with Logline and front cover).

Speech or Advert or Blurb?

The nice thing about creating this speech is that you can reuse it in different ways. Besides spoken, you can print it on postcards or bookmarks to use as adverts. Turn it into a Blurb by adding a few quotes from folks who know you or have read the book, showing why you are the only one who could have written it.

When someone you don’t know reads it and want to know more, you’ve succeeded!

Avoiding Purple Prose

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In this posting on writing, we are going to cover another problem often seen in newbie writing: excessive description. Yes, description is needed to orient the reader, and if you leave it out, you’ll have confused and annoyed readers—in fact, one of the worst chapters I read started off with two characters talking…no description of the location, the setting, or even the characters themselves. All I had was two heads in a dark room…very irritating. So let’s go over just what Purple Prose is and how to avoid it.

What is it?

If you have content that doesn’t add to the story, that has exaggerated and irrelevant details, that goes on and on without purpose, you may have Purple Prose. Often containing long stretches of big words and run-on sentences, it can also appear in smaller chunks: Purple Patches. Even a few of these in a story can unsettle the reader and interrupt the flow. Purple Prose makes itself the focus, instead of the storyline and usually messes with the pace of the rest of the narrative.

Let’s be clear, not all ostentatious language is purple. You don’t need to eliminate all highly descriptive language, just the unrestrained depictions that don’t move the story along. Some minimalists feel that following in the footsteps of those such as Hemingway is the way to go, but unless you normally write in that style, you should try to avoid either extreme.

How to Avoid It

So why do so many writers fall into the mistake of Purple Prose? Because they think it makes them look more literary, more highbrow or scholarly, classier. Sadly all it does is show that they have a good thesaurus. Becoming overly dependent on word choice can make it worse. Stick with the words you already know…just tell the story as if you were standing around chatting with friends. That’s the kind of language your reader prefers.

Watch out if you delve into description in the middle of a scene, too…is it really necessary? If so, then put it closer to the beginning, and include only enough to orient the reader to the setting: location, time, and who is there. Make certain to include only relevant details. If the door to the kitchen has to be on the right (because of something later in the book), then put it there when we first encounter it. If it isn’t important which side it’s on, then don’t bother to tell us—the reader assumes that anything you put in is there for a reason (see Chekhov’s Gun).

Proper descriptions will make your story easier for readers to visualise and experience. Make it a good one, and they’ll talk about it to all their friends!

Mailing Lists

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Just about every author needs a mailing list of some sort, if for no other reason than to keep in contact with his readers. You’ve got to tell someone when your next new book is coming out, right? That’s where a mailing list comes in handy. You tell them—they tell others. In fact, if you call your list a Reader’s Club, it will sound more elite, and your subscribers will mention it a bit more eagerly. They’ll brag about being connected to an author.

You can start your list any time you’re ready…whether your book has been through final editing or not. The sooner you start your list, the larger it can grow before you use it to announce your book release. Just keep it active, so your subscribers remember who you are and why they signed up.

List Services

You can automate most of the work involved in keeping a list by using an emailing service such as Mail Chimp (free up to 2000) or Mailer Lite (free up to 1000), and it’s a good thing if your list exceeds the free limit, because then you’ve hit the big time! After the free level, both of those services have varying prices, all based on how many subscribers you have. If you’re willing to start off with a paid service, Constant Contact is available for only $20/month with up to 500 subscribers.

Using automated services makes it easy to collect subscribers. The service does all the hard work…all you have to do is include a Sign Up link with any marketing you do. Make certain to include the link on the landing page of your website as well as on your About the Author pages (on the web as well as in printed books), your business cards and bookmarks, and any fliers you have set up at your book signings. Readers expect to see sign up requests, so cover at least these basic locations. The more you spread it around, the better. (On printed adverts, don’t forget a QR code that they can scan to be taken right to the Sign Up page.)

You’ll get a few subscribers just by having the link, but if you want more, you’ll have to give them something in exchange for their email address. You could use an unpublished short that ties into your next novel or a worksheet for your non-fiction book. Make it easy, but don’t blast them with the request…keep it subtle.

Using Your List

The fans who join your Reader’s Club will tend to be your Target Readers, so treat them well. Send out a contact email no more than a few times a year…you want to keep them involved, not annoyed. Let them know about upcoming release dates and special deals. Use your connection with them to offer private deals, such as a boxed set of your first few books or a temporary low price on new releases. You can also keep them interested if you share short stories that will never be released to the public in general…an exclusive only to members of your Reader’s Club. That will make them feel special. Reward them with goodies.

Just before your next book launch, send out a reminder with the first few chapters and invite them to pre-order your book. That will help with rankings as most sites include all pre-orders as part of the first day’s sales—the spike in sales will rocket you to the top of the lists, and you’ll be visible to a lot more readers.

Most of the emailing services will let you resend just to those who opened your first note. Those are the folks most active on your list. Offer them a discount coupon for being so involved…and resend to those who didn’t open your first message with a teaser of what they missed out on. They signed up but for some reason didn’t act on it. Offer them some other kind of special deal…but only if they act now!

Sub Text

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Although what you say is important, sometimes what you don’t say is even more important. That’s the concept behind Sub Text. This topic may be a bit Advanced, but we’re presenting it as a Basic level to let writers be aware of it…and possibly manage to squeeze a bit of it in any writing they are doing. We all know that you’ve done a lot of research to create your story world…and you really want to share all of it (which is Info Dump: the opposite of Sub Text), but most readers are at least as smart as you are—they can figure things out for themselves, so let them.

Sometimes you can achieve Sub Text by controlling POV. If the MC doesn’t know something but can perceive it from the actions of others, then so can the reader. You don’t need to be in another person’s head to know how they feel, and neither does the MC. When he responds appropriately, you may assume that the readers are smart enough to see the same clues he sees. They’ll discover what’s going on and understand the actions of the MC. It helps if you Resist the Urge to Explain anything…as long as it is clear. If it isn’t, you need to rewrite the section.

Unseen Secrets

Trying to create hidden information can be difficult…especially as you, the author, do know what they are thinking and feeling. The difficulty is not putting it down on paper, keeping it invisible, hiding beneath the words you give readers, but proper use of Sub Text can make your MC’s journey even more powerful. If your otherwise good character shows a pretence of being mean, his true nature will show through his actions, and we will soon come to understand the internal conflicts that make him act that way. Let readers draw their own conclusions—trust them to help you tell the story. Let readers take what would be just a pile of words and bring it to life.

Stories can contain much more than what shows on the page. Invite readers into the story and let them ask questions that you never address. Let them observe without telling them. They aren’t here to be taught—they want entertainment, but they also appreciate a good mind stretcher, a story that is thought-provoking and emotionally engaging. Trust them to want to delve into unstated backstories. You may know why a character acts the way he does, but if you intentionally don’t include that info, the readers will draw their own conclusions…and whether they match your ideas or not is irrelevant. In fact the more outlandish some reader’s ideas are, the more likely that the difference is going to engender conversation (discussion? arguments?) as he tells all his friends about your book.

Proving a Negative

Just as you can’t prove the non-existence of something, you might have difficulties understanding how to not put in what isn’t in your story. (Yes, that may be a double negative, but it’s the best way to say it.) Just give readers two points…and nothing in between. Let them connect the dots. The more those points differ, the less they align, the greater the mystery. Readers will be curious about the missing information and fill it in for themselves. When an internal revelation differs from how a character has appeared on the outside, there is a question, an implicit question…never explicit. Sub Text cannot be explicit…it must come implicitly from the apparent disparity.

Consider this minor example: a character gets mad and storms out of the room…only to return mere moments later to apologise. We don’t need to follow him as he considers his feelings…we know what he did. You give the reader the argument and the apology and leave the contemplation unstated.

What if the reader’s assumptions don’t fit your expectations? You need to include enough solid substance in your story that the shadowy Sub Text correctly suggest what you had in mind. The Sub Text can only derive from the context you’ve presented. Reveal enough about your characters, your plot, or your story world…but only what is absolutely needed…then leave the rest out. Do not explain the gaps.

“If a writer of prose knows enough about what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows, and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water. A writer who omits things only because he does not know them only makes hollow places in his writing.”
—Ernest Hemingway in Death in the Afternoon

Where is Sub Text?

If Sub Text is never revealed, does it actually exist? Oh, yes, it exists all right, just as the underwater part of an iceberg exists, and you, the author, will know it well, probably written down on Character Sheets, just not in the manuscript. As with all the research you’ve done, you may want to include everything about your characters, but the Sub Text must remain below the surface. When you create your story world, you may have information in your notes that will never see the light of day…keep it that way. Even if you are especially proud of some detail you’ve created, be careful to never expose it to readers. Pointing out how clever you are doesn’t add to the story—it will kick them right out of it.

When characters tell all, they spoil the opportunity for Sub Text. Telling each other exactly what they’re thinking or talking about situations exactly as they are is On the Nose Writing. Certainly don’t let them talk about something that they already know (As You Know, Bob), even if it is necessary for the reader to hear. If you find them doing any of that, consider whether the information is vital to the story, and if it really is necessary, then use creativity and show rather than tell through dialogue or narrative—keep the iceberg under water. In fact, give them plenty of opportunities to keep quiet, as the silences between dialogue gives a place for Sub Text to live.

Remember the Iceberg

Hemingway coined the term Iceberg Theory in 1923 to label his minimalist writing technique, and even if you aren’t going to take it to the extreme that he did, it is a good concept to keep in mind as you write.

Next Steps to Marketing (Reviews and Free Samples)

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Well, we covered a few things that authors can do to market their books a while back (First Steps to Marketing), so now we’re going to go over a few more. Later, we’ll continue the list with More Steps to Marketing. This time we’ll be hitting two topics: Reviews and Giveaways.

Reviews

You already have a list of loyal readers, so now you need to show that your book is worth the time of other readers. For that, you’ll need some reviews. Prior to your launch, send out Advance Reader Copies (ARCs) to a variety of reviewers. Look for sites or bloggers that cover your topic or find folks listed as Top Reviewers for similar books. If you still can’t find enough reviewers, try sites such as NetGalley or Edelweiss+ to find more.

Those reviews can’t be posted to retailer sites until release day, but they can be published on the reviewer’s personal site, blogs, or book review sites such as BookLikes, BookBrowse, aNobii, LibraryThing, and Riffle. Ask the reviewers to copy their comments over to the retail sites as soon as the book is released. (Send them the link to make it easier for them.)

To get any traction from the reviews, you’ll need to have a couple dozen posted in the first few weeks. Once you have those reviews, don’t forget to mention them in any additional announcements you make.

Free Samples

Freebies always get good attention, but there are different ways to get them out there: distribution sites, review sites, your own site, or even printed materials. When you are deciding how much to share, be certain to include enough so that the readers can determine whether they like your style…and the story itself. Your objective is to leave them wanting more, not confused about what is going on in the story.

Other Sites

Some book distribution sites allow readers to download a certain percentage of your book free. If a site doesn’t have that option, you can always publish your own sample to “sell” (for zero cost) right next to the full thing. Just be certain to change the cover and title, so they know they are getting just a portion of the whole book. Don’t forget to include a link at the end directing them back to your site, so they can get the rest of the story.

Some review sites allow you to publish your own sample. Try out Reader’s Circle, Bublish, Book Praiser, Inkitt, Scribd, or Wattpad.

Your Own Site

You can do the same thing by having an extract of your book available as a downloadable PDF (or mobi or epub) on your site. Let your interested readers download it, read it, and pass it around…just make certain you have a link at the end pointing back to your book list page on your site, so they can get the uncut version. You can also encourage them to sign up for your mailing list at the same time.

Instead of sharing pieces of your actual books, you could just write shorts about the characters in your books. Your readers will appreciate the side stories as they give insight into backstory. The extra stories can also branch off and follow certain characters who have a life outside your book. Just set up a separate page on your website to post short stories a few times a month. Each time you post a new one, tell the world about it via your Mailing List and other sites.

Printed Material

Handing out a few printed copies at panel discussions always seems to work. Wave around a few copies of your book and watch the folks rush to the front. I’ve even seen some authors drop off printed copies of their books in public places, such as at a café or on a bus or commuter train. They put a sticker on it that says to enjoy and pass on…but they also include a QR code for folks interested in finding out more!

You can also create bookmarks, postcards, or even posters with teasers from your book. If you include a customized QR code on each, you can track which marketing technique works best. For non-fiction authors, handing out worksheets, lists of tips, and short reminders works well for keeping your book in mind…and the QR on each directs the readers back to your site.

Avoiding On the Nose Writing

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This term may be new to those of you who aren’t into script writing. Script writers use this term to describe dialogue that really should be turned into action scenes. You’ve been warned to Avoid Clichés (old tired metaphors and similes) but now we’re going to discuss what happens if you don’t use any complexities (such as metaphors or similes) in your writing.

If you ever see this comment (On the Nose) written on your edited ms, it’s because you have characters telling what they feel instead of showing it. You are letting the characters give the reader facts—cold, dry facts. Sometimes the silent action between dialogue gives the best idea of what’s going on, and don’t forget to include Sub Text. Let the characters do something, rather than just talk about it. It also applies if you are stating facts, too. Try to be a little creative in how you give the reader information.

Just the Facts Ma’am

  • On the Nose
    1. She said, “I’m sad.”
    2. He said, “I’m mad.”
    3. She said, “I’m scared.”
    4. He typed up the letter as fast as he could.
    5. He walked into the boss’s office with the file folder full of pictures.
  • Using Creative Language
    1. She flopped into the armchair and sighed, her gaze slowly scanning the room through tear-filled eyes.
    2. He stared across the room, turned slowly, and put his fist through the wall.
    3. She screamed as she dove for cover under the table.
    4. His fingers flew over the keyboard, buzzing like flies escaping the swatter.
    5. He strode like a giant into management hell clutching the cold as ice evidence.

Too Much Info (TMI)

This note also applies if you are giving too much detail that doesn’t move the story along. Don’t try to pad your word count with irrelevant information. If the reader should be able to figure out what’s going on, let him.

  • On the Nose
    1. Her phone chimed, letting her know a call was coming in. She dropped her purse on the table, opened it, and dug through. Finding her phone, she hit the green button, and put it to her ear.
    2. He pulled out a key as he approached the car. Putting it into the keyhole, he gave it a sharp twist and smirked as the lock popped open. He pulled the door and got in, started the car, and drove off.
    3. He took the file folder from the filing cabinet where it had sat for years and dusted it off, putting it on the table in the middle of the room. Flipping it open, he smiled at the first picture he saw inside it.
  • Cut to the Essence
    1. Her phone rang, and she answered it.
    2. He jimmied the lock, and rocketed off in the stolen car.
    3. Pulling the dusty folder from the drawer, he was relieved to see her picture had survived.

It’s all back to Show Don’t Tell, but you don’t want to show unnecessary action. Keep it down to what’s needed to get the idea across. You can also try to make your story more refreshing by using some creative language—use a few more metaphors or similes…that you’ve created! Be imaginative, entertain us, make us stop and think for a moment. Don’t bore us with what’s happening…make us experience the story in a whole new way.

How to Tell and End a Story

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In this extra, I’m going to share with you part of a presentation that I gave to a local writers group almost five years ago. I’ve covered most of the session in previous posts about Story Elements (Characters, Plot, Theme, Action & Solution, Setting), but now we’re going to discuss the how of getting your story told…and how you’ll aim to end it.

Telling Your Story

It’s important to include specific items in your story, but avoid anything that’s irrelevant. Make certain anything you include are telling details. Use something that means something to the story or the character. The best way to approach the process is to visualise your story as a series of images (almost as if it’s already been made into a movie), because that’s how the reader will experience it. That also makes it easier to reveal only what can be seen. One of the problems with pictures is showing emotions—you can tell the reader that the character is mad, but we want the reader to feel the anger, so how do we do that?

Think about an emotion, then remember a time when you felt that way. Why did you feel that particular sensation? That is what you need to put in your story. If you want to show a couple in love, show them walking hand in hand. If you have a mother who is proud of her child, show her smiling at the burnt toast next to her breakfast in bed. Surprise can be shown by focusing in on the shattered glass lying at the wife’s feet as the husband steps through the door. When you want to show that someone is sad, describe the motionless puppy curled up in the box next to their bed. Fear can be expressed by portraying a rabid dog growling as he slowly advances.

Use the Senses

Remember to involve the senses…all of them. Use real images your readers can visualise—colours, sounds, lights, flavours, smells. Don’t tell them…let them feel the rough stair railing as they cautiously ascend to the attic, let them hear the siren quickly approaching the house that has flames billowing from every window, let them squint into the fog to see the school bus approaching the train crossing, let them smell the coffee gently warming over the campfire surrounded by their friends, let them shudder as they taste the lemon squeezings dripping down their fingers onto the freshly caught salmon. You want to invite your readers into the story, so make it real for them.

Use concrete details—no theories or abstractions here. Don’t tell them he had a dirty shirt…show them the grease stains and coffee dribbles on the cloth so tightly stretched across his belly that it’s starting to split. Don’t tell them that the truck carried some cargo…show them the green truck speeding down the dirt road, filled with soldiers sitting around the large wooden crate. Don’t tell them that betrayal is terrible…show them the smirk on your best friend’s face as he deliberately points you out to the waiting policemen. Don’t tell them that the hero is afraid…show them the hesitation as he feels sweat roll down his ribcage when he steps off the sidewalk to approach the car full of hoodlums.

Ending Your Story

As you approach the ending, remember the Transformation that has taken place in the Hero. He must emerge from his ordeal changed…significantly (for the better…we hope, but not necessarily). There are different styles of endings…and you’ve probably seen most of them. Disney stories all seem to end “and they lived happily ever after.” Benjamin Franklin’s stories usually end “and from this we can see…” Aesop ends his stories with “and the moral is…” All different, but all good, depending on what the author wants the reader to learn from this story. You might want to decide what you want this lesson to be early on in the writing process—write it on a big piece of paper and hang over your writing area.

  • Better safe than sorry
  • Be friends with those you don’t like
  • Don’t judge by appearances
  • The dark path will hold you in control
  • Slow and steady wins the race
  • Overconfidence is weakness
  • Evil deserves no aid

No matter which ending style you decide to use for your story, remember that the Hero has changed, the world is different, ‘normal’ is not what it was before, and what lesson you had in mind is now clear to the characters and reader alike. All must adapt to the new now and move on…in spite of what has transpired.

Character Sheets

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Whether you’ve played D&D or not, I assume you’ve at least heard of it. If you’re unfamiliar with how it works, let me explain the connection to writing. In the game Dungeons and Dragons, players represent characters in an ongoing story built over time. To keep track of the details of each character, the players use a sheet with relevant info that they can refer to as they play. That technique seems to work well for them…and it will for you, too.

Trying to keep track of too many little details as you write can sometimes make the difference between a novel that works and one that doesn’t. The big issue is consistency. If one of your characters has blue eyes at the beginning of the book, but then later he has green eyes, the reader will be confused (as well he should). The Main Character isn’t usually the problem…it’s all those little guys that keep getting mixed up.

How Much Info is Needed?

The extent to which you collect and record info will depend on how long your piece is…and which characters you are documenting. If Flash Fiction (~100 words up to 1000), all you’ll have time for is the basic. For a Short Story (5000 to 10,000 words), you’ll need a bit more info. Novellas (10,000 to 40,000 words) and Novels (80,000 up to 100,000 or more depending on genre) will demand the greatest level of detail. Finally, if you are writing a series of stories, you’ll definitely need some way to keep track of more than just characters.

For central characters consider a full sheet of info, but for peripheral characters who just walk on, say their lines, and disappear, you may be able to have a half dozen on a single sheet. Let’s list a few of the items you’ll need:

  • Flash Fiction
    • Name, age, height, weight, body type, hair colour and style, complexion
  • Short Stories
    • All the above and…
    • Backstory, mannerisms (tics), identifying features (tattoos, scars, etc.)
  • Novellas and Novels
    • All the above and…
    • Personality traits, needs, wants, family ties, interests and hobbies, favourites (food, colour, sayings), friend connections (people and animals), education, religion
    • Motivations, obstacles, conflict resolution techniques, prejudices, philosophy on life, family life
    • Timeline of life, covering major events
    • Descriptive summary (2 to 3 pgphs)
  • Book Series
    • Along with complete details for most characters, you’ll also need to note down locations, culture and society, level of technology, and any elements specific to your story or genre

You’ll notice that minor things such as clothing are not listed. That’s because those items will change throughout the story (unless it’s a very short one). Styles of clothing may be listed to match that character’s personality, but nothing in particular

How Do I Keep It All Together?

Here is where a D&D type character sheet comes in handy. Although similar, character sheets for writing focus more on the information listed above, rather than gaming stats. A simple one would have the character’s name at the top, space for a picture (any picture found in a magazine that inspires you as you create the character), and relevant items listed on the rest of the sheet. Keep the sheets handy as you write, so when some aspect of a character comes up in the writing, you can quickly grab your sheets and make certain to use the correct characteristic.

Maintaining character sheets will get easier with time. Once you’ve made a few, and determined just what you need to help with your style of writing, you can create blank forms to use for future characters. Having a binder with all the sheets grouped by story will also allow you to take existing characters, copy their sheet, then modify them to save time when you need new characters in new stories. You can have a whole slew of extras just sitting around waiting to be called into play.

Sometimes just thinking about the lists above will bring up ideas that you hadn’t even considered before. That’s good, as it will help you define your characters. In fact, some authors intentionally create Character Sheets as a way to brainstorm new ideas about their characters. As you are going over the list, follow any ideas that come to you—dive down the rabbit hole with full abandon, possibly creating an entire scene from a character’s backstory.

“Remember: Plot is no more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations.”
—Ray Bradbury in Zen in the Art of Writing (1990)

Using the Character Sheet

In spite of taking all that time to assemble such a wealth of knowledge, remember that you will actually use very little of it in the story itself. Merely noting down these details will firm up who your characters are…in your mind. You’ll have an in-depth awareness of them, so you’ll know how they would react in any given situation…but you never need to share that info with the reader.

As an extension of the sheet, some folks recommend using a list personality profile questions to find out who your characters are. If you do that, be careful to not take it too far. Some of those lists have over 300 questions, but you certainly don’t need to answer them all to make your characters full and rounded. If you do decide to use a list of questions, don’t do it until you already have a pretty good idea of who your character is. Those questions can get into such detail, but if you don’t have the basics down first, you’ll just be adding skin to a non-existent skeleton.