What makes a Self-Publisher?

We’ve had questions from a few authors about just what is meant by “Self-Publishing”…it seems to be a term bandied about with little regard for what it really means. Many folks use it to refer to any process other than being picked up by one of the Big Five. Actually, there are many ways to be published without following the traditional route, but not all of them are “self-publishing”. One of the common methods that isn’t self-publishing is to go through a hybrid publisher, which amazingly enough can include Amazon!

By definition, if you are a self-published author, then you are the publisher of your work. That’s all that’s needed…but just what does that entail? Before we can understand what it truly means to be self-published, we need to see what the publisher does in the process, so we’ll go over some of the steps and find out.

Steps to be an Author

In our post about First Idea to Printed Book, we went over many of the steps required to get your story into ink on paper, so we’ll review them here:

  • Write: Someone has to write the story, and it’s usually you, though you could hire it out to a ghostwriter if you feel you are a good storyteller…but not a good writer
  • Edit: Even if you are an expert editor, you’ll really want to seek help elsewhere, finding someone not as close to the writing as you are. This includes all the different levels of editing
  • Format: Making each page of a book look good is an involved task. Try it yourself only if you have plenty of experience formatting books
  • Layout: Getting all the parts of your book in the right place requires that you know about all the various parts and where they go, building the Front Matter and Back Matter. Again, hire it out unless you really know what you’re doing.
  • Cover: Beautiful covers aren’t easy to make, so unless you are a graphic artist with plenty of experience creating book covers, find someone else to do it for you. (Ask us for recommendations.)
  • Print and Bind: There are videos online showing how to use your home printer and a few craft tools to assemble your own book, but I’d really recommend that you let a professional printer and binder do it.

Beyond the Basics

Going on past the First Idea to Printed Book chart, there are more steps to be considered if you really want to call yourself an author.

  • Marketing: As a writer, you probably have neither the time nor resources to tell the whole world about your book. Remember, no one can buy it if they don’t know about it, so find someone who has the expertise.
  • Selling: Authors who sell books out of the trunk of their car are serious do-it-yourselfers. Letting retailers do their job will let you reach folks who feel uncomfortable having a clandestine meeting in a car park.
  • Shipping: I’ve heard authors complain about having to stand in line at the Post Office to ship their books. Wouldn’t it be a better use of your time letting a warehousing company do the shipping, after all, they’ve been doing it for years.

So who is the Publisher?

But wait. Where is the publisher in all this? We never even mentioned the publisher in the steps to becoming an author, so where does he fit in? The Big Five publishers have employees to do the Editing, Formatting, Layout, Cover, Printing, Binding, Marketing, Selling, and Shipping. Many other publishers don’t have full-time employees, but to do all those same tasks they hire them out. Well then, what exactly does the publisher do, besides put his name on your book?

Maybe that’s it…just a name on a book. But that name carries plenty of clout. And why does it carry clout? Because the publisher has contacts that can get your book in front of buyers…not the folks who will read your book, rather the ones that buy for stores, to get your book on the shelves that the end customer looks over when trying to find their next book to read. Without those buyers finding your book, it will languish in the slush pile along with all the other “self-published” but invisible books.

So if you’re the publisher, then what contacts do you have to make your book visible? It turns out that you have the same contacts as any of the other publishers, Big Five or not. You have the opportunity to get your book listed in Bowker’s Books In Print, right alongside all those other publishers. All you have to do is register your ISBN.

That means if you want to be really self-published, all you need to do is own the ISBN. That’s it. Everything else can be subbed out to folks with the appropriate expertise.

What’s an ISBN?

We talked about putting the hyphens in the right place in the ISBNs a while back, but we never mentioned why you should have an ISBN. Exposure is why. Associating your book information (title, size, binding, etc.) with an ISBN is known as ‘registering’ it. That ties all the relevant info to a unique number that belongs to only you and that one version of the book. You’ll use a different ISBN for each version: paperback, audio, Kindle, large print, or spiral bound. Although each ‘book’ contains the same information, the way that information is relayed to the end reader is different. If I buy your book for my Nook, I don’t want to get an audio CD.

So, the publisher’s job is to own and register each ISBN for each version of your book. That’s it. Simple enough, right? Apparently not. I’ve heard from some small publishers that the process of registering the ISBNs is so complicated that they are just about pulling out of the publishing market entirely. We’ll go into the whole process in a future posting, so keep your eyes open. We’ll do what we can to make it clear.

Dependent Clauses and Commas

We’ve had so many questions regarding grammar that we’ve brought the topic back for another go around. This year we will begin with some of the rules that are pretty much set in stone. Later, we may come back to touch on some rules that are still in flux, but first we need to warn you about rules that aren’t really rules.

Don’t Follow the “Rules”

Before we get started going over some of the good rules, we want to discuss a few “rules” that you may have been taught in school but don’t really need to follow. The reason we still have those rules seems to be one of “teach what you’ve been taught”. You’ll even find that the folks who provide the software that you use to write your book have been following those useless rules, often suggesting that you change perfectly valid sentences into something that sounds vague, stiff, or inappropriate.

The whole difficulty started way back in the Victorian times when those teaching and codifying English thought that Latin was the be all and end all of languages. They did their best to transfer some rules from Latin into English. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), English isn’t Latin, so those “borrowed” rules just didn’t fit.

The sad thing is that for the past 200 years or so, English has been taught with those rules as if they were useful—they aren’t, and they just get in the way of effective communication. After all, isn’t that what languages are used for? If they don’t communicate the proper message, then they aren’t worth the time to learn.

We’ve mentioned a few of those “rules” over the past few years: Split Infinitives, Prepositions at the ends of sentences, Singular They, and we even touched on the use of punctuation around quotes. If you come across any other rules that don’t seem right, please let us know, so we can research, analyse, and report back.

When to Use a Comma with Dependent Clauses

Dependent clauses are wonderful things. They help us connect ideas to show relationships. In the examples below, we have two sentences that are both true individually, but they work better when the connection between the ideas is expressed. That is done by using a Subordinating Conjunction, making one clause dependent on the other.

  • Don arrives. I will jump.
    • When Don arrives, I will jump.
    • I will jump when Don arrives.
  • Fred trips. Fred will fall
    • If Fred trips, he will fall.
    • Fred will fall if he trips.
  • It will be warm. The sun shines.
    • It will be warm because the sun shines.
    • Because the sun shines, it will be warm.
  • You go. I will follow.
    • Wherever you go, I will follow.
    • I will follow wherever you go.

You’ll notice that the clauses can be put in either order…depending on your focus. You typically want the more important idea to be the last part the reader encounters. The key here is that when the clause with the subordinating conjunction comes first, we need a comma to show where that clause ends, so the next one can begin. If the clause with the conjunction comes last, then the conjunction acts as the separator between them. In class, you’ll often see the rule written on the board like this:

DC,IC or ICDC

Dependent clause first, use a comma.
Independent clause first, no comma.

Remember that, and you’ll be well on your way.

Writers Write

  • We have yet to develop enough topics to fill all the slots for the year (blame Corona for that!), so let us know what you’d like to hear about. Until then, we’ll just take on topics as they come to mind.

Welcome to yet another great year at Turner Editing. As previously, we will continue to post interesting and timely topics related to the writing world. We are always available for discussion, so if you have any ideas or questions, please let us know. We’re going to start off this year with the first step in writing: writing itself!

As we mentioned at the end of last year, getting something on paper is the first and biggest task a writer has. Once you have something in fixed form, you can sit back and look at it objectively, consider it, improve it, publish it. Until it’s actually written down, it’s just an idea floating around in the aether, nebulous and indistinct.

As with many tasks in journalism, we are going to address the important information gathering questions: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How.

The Who is obvious…no one else can write your story except you, so you’d best get to it! Your audience out there is anxiously awaiting your fabulous tales.

And the What is easy, too. Again, only you know what needs to be written. It has been said that if you want to read a book, but can’t find it, then you must be the one to write it. In other words you shouldn’t necessarily write what you know…instead you should write what you want to read.

Tackling the How will take the rest of the year, and that’s our plan, but for now we’ll just focus on the Where, When, and Why.

Where to Write

Where you do your writing can be almost as important as what you’re writing. To get the best benefit from the time you spend writing, you should set aside a specific place to do your work. The location and setting are important, but some writers even have a particular pen and pad they prefer to use…others have a favourite program. Whatever setting you prefer to use when you write, it should be set up just the way you need. Once you get it all arranged, the mere fact of settling in at your designated Writing Area will signal to your brain that it’s time to write…no interruptions allowed.

It’s fine if your location is also used for other things…for instance serving dinner to your family. The only caveat is that you need to make it special for when you are writing. Whatever location you use, change it around somewhat for your writing time. Set up an inspiring picture, put on appropriate music, shoo the kids out and hang a bedsheet over the doorway. That way if you are using the dining room table to do your writing, it becomes your Writing Area when appropriately arranged

When to Write

I could say to write every day…all the time…to the exclusion of all else, but that’s not practical. On the other hand, if you do have large blocks of time to write, that’s wonderful. Unfortunately, most of us have too many other things going on in our lives to set aside an entire eight-hour day just for writing. To help keep your focus, some writers subscribe to the Deep Work philosophy, where you can set aside just a couple hours (or even just a few minutes) and get some intense writing done. The Pomodoro method is also available to avoid becoming burned out by over working yourself.

You’ll want to set a specific time each day for your writing. Don’t just say that you will write for an hour…state exactly which hour you will write, and try to be consistent. If you can only set aside time three days a week, that’s fine. More is better, if you can afford it. If you can manage seven days a week, you’re doing better than most writers. Put it in your schedule, on your calendar, in your social media postings. Don’t forget to tell those around you, those you share your house or your life with, that you won’t be available during that time. If you are truly dedicated to writing, then your friends and family will want to support you in your effort, so keep them in the loop.

Why to Write

The Why is pretty much up to you—if you don’t want to write, then don’t. If you do, then you need to understand why you’re doing it, so you can do it successfully.

One big reason to write is because you have something to share with the world. If that’s the case, then you need to consider who will be reading it: your Target Audience. The best way to aim for your audience is to picture one individual who represents the entire audience. Write as if you were sitting down having a conversation with only him. Picture just telling him the story…then quickly write down what you just told him.

If your reason to write is to make money, then, just as with any money-making venture, the more time and effort you put into it, the more you’ll reap the rewards. Treat it the same as you would any job…but in this case remember that you are the boss as well as the employee. Some of your time will be spent creating, and some of your time will be spent managing. As we just discussed (in The Difference Between Writing and Editing), those tasks require different mind sets, so keep them separate.


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The Difference Between Writing and Editing

In this last post of the year, we are circling back to the beginning of the whole writing process: idea creation and self-editing. Before any writing can take place, you need an idea, or even just a glimmer of an idea, and then after you do some initial writing, comes the job of self-editing. In between the idea and the editing is the creative process.

The major difference between the Writing process and the Editing process is that writing is creative and editing is analytical…which is the opposite of creation. When you create, you put things together…when you analyse, you take them apart—possibly to put them back together in a different form.

Hands on Jail bars, showing locking away your inner editorEach of those tasks takes a different part of the brain…and should be done separately. If you stop writing because your inner editor is complaining about what you’ve written, you’ll end up switching from one mind-set to the other, and it’s difficult to get back into the creative mood once you start analysing what you’ve written. If you have a good, productive writing session going, you want to keep it going, not interrupt it, so keep your mind free to create by locking away your inner editor for the entire writing session. The best way to ruin a positive writing session is to break the mood…and your inner editor is the best one to do that.

Be careful of that nasty old inner editor even before you start writing. He can bring your creative efforts to a complete standstill before you even have a chance to get them down on paper.

Writing

As we said above, the first step is an idea. Unfortunately, many folks believe that’s the only thing they need to write a book…they feel that just by thinking it over, it will somehow magically happen. Thinking about writing doesn’t get anything done…actually writing does. Sitting at your desk and forming words is the only thing that will eventually turn an idea into a book.

What often happens next is that the idea stimulates words, and folks sit down to start writing, but then they start questioning what they’ve produced. That’s the ugly head of the inner editor popping up to criticize their work. The worst thing you can do is listen to him. Pack that nasty old inner editor away and just let the story flow.

If you don’t get those ideas that are floating around in your head out of there, they’ll just keep swirling around. Old ideas will clog up your ability to form new ones, so you have to get them out. Free up your mind to move on to the next part of your story by getting the existing ideas out. Committing them to physical reality lets your mind know that it is safe to wander on to other ideas.

Once an idea forms, get it down on paper…even if it’s just a note in your pocket. Always carry a small note pad to capture those momentary ideas that float through your head. Whether you’re driving around town, chatting at a party, drifting off to sleep, or suddenly become aware of something unique when watching a show, make note of it. The mere fact that you’ve written it down, that you’ve locked it in some kind of fixed form, lets your mind know that it’s all right to release that idea and move on to the next.

Just Write!

I’ve often said that I can’t edit a blank page, but if you find that blank page staring at you worrisome, then just close your eyes and type. It really works. Don’t look at what you’re typing…just keep at it. If you can’t come up with the precise word right away, just write down what the word feels like. You’ll come back to it later. Hit <enter> a few times when you’ve got a shift in your topic, but don’t concern yourself with what’s on the screen. You can clean it up later…and you will.

Editing

This first type of editing is where you are working on the story itself…not the words, rather the concepts and how they are connected. You are improving the basics of the story without regard to how the story is going to be told to your eventual readers. Don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, or even word choice. Just ensure the story flows at least somewhat. You can do more clean up later.

This type of editing is self-editing, and it comes well before any of the services we could possibly provide. Here you are still figuring out what your story is going to be all about. Now is when Beta Readers can come in handy. You bounce ideas around with your close confidants and see how they react. There’s nothing Turner Editing can do for you at this point…you are still crafting ideas, but once you are done with this step, you’ll need a second set of eyes looking it over.

You can be your own set of second eyes if you set your writing aside for a month or two (even six if you can stand being away from it for that long). Coming back to it with fresh eyes, you’ll be amazed at how much different things seem. You’ll see things that you didn’t know were there…and you’ll discover things missing that you thought were there. Some parts may seem a bit herky-jerky, so look at the connections between scenes.

Speaking of scenes, consider each to see that your Scenes and Sequels alternate, and that each is complete with their required parts (GCD or RDC). Once you’ve achieved this level of self-edit, it’s time to seek outside assistance.


Here at Turner Editing, we hope you will continue to pin down those wonderful ideas, and we hope to read all the brilliant stories soon.

Beta Readers

Do you really need Beta Readers? What do they do? How do you find them? We’ll cover all that right here. Named after the second letter in the Greek alphabet, they are the second ones to see your ms. (If Beta Readers are second, then who is first? We’ll cover Alpha Readers farther down…) Using Beta Readers can save plenty of time and effort, but remember: they don’t replace a good Critique Group nor an editor. (Keep us in mind when you’re ready for that step.)

It’s always a good idea to have a second set of eyes look over your story. You don’t want to expend effort polishing a marble statue if the figure has three arms and two heads (unless it’s supposed to). Clean up the big things first, then work your way down to the details. Beta Readers consider your work as a whole. They don’t have the investment that you do, so they can give an honest assessment. Be aware that you might discover a lot of issues at this point, too many—it might be time to step back and consider whether this project is one worth doing.

You’ll want to know how they react to the story. Are there parts that interest them? Are there parts that bore them? What do they ask you after reading it? What have you left out because “it’s so obvious”, but they don’t know? Would they buy the book after it’s done? Would they urge their friends to buy it?

Beta Readers do their job because they love reading, but many authors also offer a copy of the book once released. If the author feels the input from some Beta Readers is particularly helpful, then an acknowledgement in the Front Matter of the book would be appropriate.

Beta Reader’s Job

Beta Readers are readers (preferably members of your intended audience), not writers, so although they can sense problems with your story’s overall structure, they may not have the vocabulary to describe the problem exactly. You’ll need to work carefully with them to understand what they are trying to tell you.

Acting as the first line of defense (or the initial attack), they let you know if your story is ready for the next step. Not at the level of a full critique or a Developmental Edit, their expertise lies in finding overarching problems with the story in general. They may not know it by name, but their focus is on a few key items:

  • Believability—does it sound as if it could really happen,
    or are the actions so farfetched that it doesn’t seem possible?
  • Characterization—do the characters feel real,
    or are they cardboard cut-outs being pushed around the scene?
  • Continuity—are the characters consistent throughout,
    or do they mysteriously change from beginning to end?
  • Flow—is the story revealed appropriately,
    or does it jump around, not making sense?
  • Originality—is the story unique or at least distinctive,
    or does it sound as if it’s a rehashed version of other stories?
  • Pacing—does the level of action vary from scene to scene,
    or is it all the same, causing reader burnout?
  • Plot Holes—do the characters follow logic in solving problems,
    or are there places where something seems missing?
  • Structure—does each scene flow from the previous one,
    or are there confusing gaps in the action?

Don’t expect comments on grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Save that stuff for later…much later.

How to Find Beta Readers

Although there are many sites out there that will work to connect authors with Beta Readers, we feel the requirement for honest, yet feeling, feedback is often lost in the random world of readers. On the other hand, if you think you are ready for some honest, and often brutal, feedback, you might check out a few of these sites. (Many of these are forums, so whether you are familiar with that style or not, be certain to read all their rules before you jump in.)

Our recommendation is to find folks you already know and trust to be your Beta Readers.

Alpha Readers

Long before you get to Beta Readers, there are Alpha Readers, also named after a letter in the Greek alphabet, but this time the first letter, because they get to hear your story ideas first…before you’ve even written them down. These “readers” are the friends you have lunch with, just hanging out and talking about all your interesting and clever ideas.

Those ideas…floating around in your head…need to be managed, arranged, given structure…before they can be shaped into a full-blown story. Sharing those ideas with close friends firms them up, helping you work out the details…before you even know what the details are going to be.

Alpha Readers are the friends who take your ideas and respond with, “Wouldn’t it be neat if…” urging you to consider alternatives in your story. You may not use any of their ideas, but at least you have the inspiration you need to continue.

Your cheerleaders in the writing world, Alpha Readers are important for your emotional wellbeing. They champion your cause, encouraging you to keep writing…not pointing out problems with your story. (Leave that to the Editors!) They give you some well-deserved support as you figure out what your story is going to be.

Keep them close…to your heart as well as to your manuscript.

Multiple POV Story

We talked about the problem of Head Hopping a while back, but this time we’re going to discuss how to tell a story from multiple points of view…without hopping heads. Head Hopping is often an issue with romance stories because the relationship between the main characters is almost more important than the characters themselves—most readers want to know what’s going on in everyone’s head. The only way to do that, without Head Hopping, is to split the story up into sections…one for him, one for her.

Examples of Multi POV Stories

Although most romance stories are told with multiple POVs, they aren’t the only ones.

Some stories are best told from different viewpoints. For example in a memoir-like narrative about mother-child relationships, some chapters could be from the mother’s POV and others from the child’s. Readers could see the same scene from each POV and find out what each character is thinking…and therefore understand why they acted the way they did.

Another example could be a suspense story. You can tell some chapters from the Protagonist’s POV and others from the Antagonist’s. That way the readers would know what the Antagonist is planning and be worried about the Protagonist being able to work his way out of the situation…raising tension along the way.

There are some stories that start off with a new character in each chapter…and only bring all the characters together near the end. We saw one story that had a dozen chapters…one for each month of the year…and twelve unique stories. It wasn’t until the very last chapter that all the characters just happened to run into each other, and all the individual stories tied together rather well. It was an interesting way to keep the readers interested…wanting to see how these disparate stories were connected, and it worked rather well.

In any case, you need to remember to stick with only one POV in each chapter. The only catch is that some characters may not have much to do when it’s their turn in the spotlight…and you may not want a bunch of short chapters. That’s where scene breaks come in handy.

Scene Breaks

Instead of waiting for a chapter to end, you can switch to a new POV by signalling a scene change. That allows you to change time, location, or POV. (And that’s the only way to change any of those three mid-chapter!)

There are a variety of ways to show a scene break, the most common being just a double Enter. At the end of each pgph, you hit the <enter> key, so for a scene break, you just hit it twice. That’s fine for use as you are writing…but when you’re ready to publish, you need do something more. Consider what would happen if one of your double-enters falls at the end of a page…it becomes invisible! That can happen even in an ebook, so you need to do something about it.

The standard is to use a triple asterisk centered on a line by itself to show a scene break, but some authors don’t want to be so mundane as to use such a common character, so they opt for a dinkus! If you are also bored with the asterisk, here are some fancier characters you can use as scene breaks (usually used in groups of three):

  • Asterisms: ⁂ ✽ ❄ ✱
  • Fleurons: ❦ ❧ 🍁 🍃
  • Crosses: ✠ ✤ ✥ ✜
  • Stars: ✪ ✯ ✴ ✺
  • Arrows: ➜ ➠ ➢ ➳

Or, depending on the topic, specific shapes may be used, such as chess pieces, card suits, astrological signs, numbers or letters in circles, musical notes, or math symbols. Scroll through the Wingdings fonts to get some ideas.

Various fancy lines to separate text

An alternative to individual characters is to use fancy lines that stretch across the page, such as in the picture to the right. Plenty of sites offer a diverse choice of options—one of which is Vector Stock.


By controlling the scenes, you keep the reader oriented, and we all know that a disoriented reader is a confused reader…one ready to set your book down, never to pick it up again.

How to find an Agent

So you’ve finished writing your book, and it has been all edited, and you really want to share it with the world…BUT how? You could just find a printer and publish it yourself, but how would readers find it? The easiest way to share your book is by going through a publisher because they already have the distribution and marketing skills needed, so that’s your first step…or is it?

You could spend a lot of time trying to get a publisher to check out your book, but most of them won’t even talk to authors directly…they’d rather go through an agent. The publishers know that the agents have already vetted the ms and will submit it only to publishers who want or need that particular genre. It saves the publishers a lot of time to deal only with filtered submissions.

The problem then becomes one of trying to find an agent…who will represent your book and do the work of shopping it around to the appropriate publishers. As with publishers, some agents deal only with certain story types, so it doesn’t do you any good to use a shotgun approach. (In fact, it might work against you. Many agents share info about authors, and you don’t want them talking about you in a bad light.) So, now you’re ready to find an agent…we’ll show you a few ways to do that…and help identify “publishers” to avoid.

Do you need an Agent?

Before we figure out how to find an agent, we need to consider whether you actually need one or not. It turns out that many books out there don’t need agents…and agents don’t want them. Agents make their money only when your book sells to a publisher, so if there’s little chance of that happening, agents aren’t interested in helping you. A few reasons you won’t need an agent are if you:

  • self-publish (such as through Amazon’s KDP)—you are the publisher
  • write for artistic reasons—little regard for profit
  • have a niche audience—sales won’t make enough money
  • write for education or academic fields—publisher probably commissioned the piece
  • write non-fiction articles or essays or cookbooks—agents won’t touch it

On the other hand, you do need an agent if you:

  • want to get published by the Big Five—only accepts agented queries
  • write novels (including children’s)—most successful novels are published by the Big Five
  • write general interest non-fiction (including memoir)—to get a publisher with marketing skills
  • want to see your book in bookstores—bookstores buy their books through distributors
  • expect a large market—health, diet, cooking apply to large numbers of people

If you’ve determined that you do need an agent, then by all means consider the steps below!

Where to find Agents

Finding an agent is similar to finding a spouse. You’ll be working directly with them as a business partner, so personalities need to mesh well. All we can do is identify some of the many lists out there—it will be up to you to research and pick the few agents you’ll then contact. We suggest keeping a list in a table or spreadsheet. That way you can easily compare details and keep track of when you’ve sent queries and how they’ve responded.

  • Agent Query is free and is searchable by key words or genre, either fiction or non-fiction.
  • Two versions of the Wish List exist: MS Wish List is a Twitter-like listing, whilst Manuscript Wish List is searchable by both fiction and non-fiction genres.
  • Query Tracker requires a sign up to search, but has a good reputation.
  • Publisher’s Marketplace charges $25/mo, but you might need access to their info for only a couple months, so it could be worth it to subscribe for a short time.
  • Writer’s Market used to be a good source, but until they finish their transition to Penguin Random, the site is unavailable.

Agents often move around from agency to agency, so once you have a list of potential agents, be certain to check the agency website to see that they are still open to submissions. Follow their guidelines as accurately as you can. Some want first page, some first chapter. Some want synopses, some outline. Pay attention to formatting, too. Although with electronic submissions, it only takes a few seconds to change to Times New Roman, double-spaced, size 14 font, if an agent gets two submissions…one already formatted to their liking and one that requires “just a few seconds” to fix up, guess which they’ll read with gusto and which will be set aside.

Agents (and Publishers) to Avoid

You’ve got the good news…now comes the bad. There are agents and publishers out there who make their money by selling “services” to authors, as opposed to legit agents and publishers who make their money by selling books to readers…and sending money to authors. Fortunately, there are groups out there who have tracked down many of these “vanity” presses, so you can watch out for them.

Remember: The money should be coming to you. When the publisher sells books, royalties get sent to your agent, who then takes 15% and sends the rest to you. Agents only make money when you do. Avoid agents who charge a “reading fee” (sometimes called “professional development fee” or “editing costs”). Your book should already be edited before you submit it—you need to submit your best work, so an editor is a required expense (unless you have a really good Critique Group!). Once you’ve been picked up by a publisher, most expenses are covered, though you may need to put in a few hours doing marketing.

Here are some lists that will clue you in to who to avoid:

  • Absolute Write has a discussion board that often discusses agents and publishers to avoid.
  • The Alliance of Independent Authors has a colour coded list, ranging from Excellent to Watchdog Advisory.
  • The Association of Authors’ Representatives vets their list, requiring all agents to adhere to a rather comprehensive Canon of Ethics.
  • Writer Beware has one of the largest and best maintained lists. They’ve been around for many years, and although the list exists on the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA) website, they are supported in their efforts by the Mystery Writers of America, the Horror Writers Association, and the American Society of Journalists and Authors, so don’t let their address deter you.

It’s up to you

Narrow your list, follow the guidelines, keep track of submissions…and sooner than you think, you’ll have representation…and a chance at the big time. Good luck!

Shaggy Dog Story

Although we enjoy a good story, there has to be some point to it or it just disappoints. The problem with Shaggy Dog stories is that there isn’t any point, and that’s pretty much the definition. Many Shaggy Dog stories go on and on…full of irrelevant details that never add anything to the story, finally ending “Not with a bang but a whimper” or even worse, a poorly placed pun.

When you start writing a story, you have to at least have some kind of message in mind…otherwise, you’ll just wander around never getting anywhere, even if you’re a pantser. There’s a problem when you get to the end of your story and don’t even know it. How would you know the story is over if you don’t have some kind of goal or end in mind?

Stories exist because of the end…not the middle. Yes, they need the middle to build tension, aiming for the climax, which will reveal the final change, but it’s that change, that Transformation, that is the real essence of the story. That’s what the readers look for when they first pick up your book. Give them a good ending, and they’ll shout your praises far and wide.

Examples

There are many instances of Shaggy Dog stories, but two stand out as historical examples.

Mark Twain and Jim Blain

Mark Twain wrote about encountering a Shaggy Dog in Roughing It, a book covering his travels throughout the west. In chapter 53 he recounts meeting Jim Blain, who was apt to tell a story about his grandfather’s ram. Jim’s problem was that once he started off telling the story, he got side-tracked: first leading off into a tale about the family where his grandfather had acquired the ram, which then branched off into details about a man who, when he was thrown out of church, landed on an old lady with a glass eye. That is then followed by a long convoluted narrative about her glass eye…and her borrowing a wooden leg “because crutches were too slow.” A dozen or more barely linked stories later, over 1600 words, Jim suddenly falls asleep, never finishing the story about the ram.

It seems no one around had ever heard more than a brief mention of the ram at the beginning of the long account, but they all wanted Mark Twain to experience it for himself. Twain’s story ends with, “What the thing was that happened to him and his grandfather’s old ram is a dark mystery to this day, for nobody has ever yet found out.”

Nikolai Gogol and Captain Kopeikin

Another famous Shaggy Dog story appears in chapter 10 of Nikolai Gogol’s novel Dead Souls. As the characters attempt to identify the main character of the novel, Chichikov, someone misidentifies him as Captain Kopeikin. No one has heard of this Captain Kopeikin, so we get a story of almost 2000 words detailing all the adventures and goings on of Captain Kopeikin after the war. In the middle of the tale, someone interrupts, pointing out that Chichikov couldn’t be Captain Kopeikin. He reminds everyone that at the very beginning of the diversion, Captain Kopeikin is described as having lost an arm and a leg, and the mysterious Chichikov is whole. This makes the whole discussion of Captain Kopeikin null and void.

This Shaggy Dog story works well in this situation because the reader can sit back and laugh at the characters who spent all that time listening to a long involved story that turns out to be worthless. It also gives Nikolai a chance to develop some of the characters, allowing the reader to understand the general situation in that time and place.

Hidden Shaggy Dogs

Shaggy Dog stories are fine if they are in a story, intentionally put there by the author to create sympathy for the characters, explain the setting, or allow the narrator to poke fun at others. We only have a problem when the Shaggy Dog is the whole story…often not intended by the author.

Occasionally, we’ve seen a ms where the author didn’t have a clear vision of his story. He just wrote down whatever came next in his mind…barely linked ideas, similar to Jim Blain’s story. It’s difficult to critique or edit such a story, as often none of the Five Plot Points exist, there is no Logline to guide the flow, and no tension builds…just more and more extraneous details. In fact, many Shaggy Dog stories are identified by having an anti-climax, where the problems just go away—not necessarily with a Deus ex machina, but rather by coming up with a simplistic solution after all the anticipation.

Intentional Shaggy Dogs

Similar to Mark Twain’s friends who wanted to see him frustrated by Jim Blain’s story, if you are ever in our area, we’d like to introduce you to Roger. Known for stopping on the side of the road at public events to tell a story, he’ll draw a crowd. He then holds them entranced, blocking the pathway, for over twenty minutes as he goes on and on. Then he suddenly ends the story with a terrible pun, eliciting a groan from everyone expecting some big ending. We love to see how big of a crowd he can get…and how long he can keep them captivated…just so we can laugh at them.

Critique Groups

One of the best tools we’ve found for both first time and seasoned authors with dozens of books is a Critique Group. We’ve mentioned them a few times but haven’t really gone into what they are or how to run one. We’ll correct that oversight right now.

First, a definition: A Critique Group is an assembly of folks willing to read and comment on the writings of others. They do not have to be writers in their own right, in fact bringing in a few folks who enjoy just reading can give insight into final audience reactions. It’s good if you can find someone who has been through the writing, editing, publishing, marketing process…but it’s not necessary. A Critique Group is intended to help smooth out the rough spots in your story…editing should take place after you have all the story details done. (Don’t hire an editor until your story is ready! It’ll just be a waste of time for them and money for you.)

Next, do you really need a Critique Group? Not necessarily, but if you write, you do. If you want to improve your writing, you do. If you want to work with others, helping them improve…and avoiding the mistakes you see…you do. If you want to publish your work, you do. In other words unless you hire a Developmental Editor to do the same job, you really do need a Critique Group.

Then again, if you want a group to tell you what a wonderful job you’ve done…and how much they love your story…you may not be ready for honest feedback. Also, are you ready to give honest feedback to others? Can you give that feedback? Critique Groups work both ways, so if you’re not ready, you might seek out some Beta Readers instead.

Types of Critique Groups

Critique Groups work in many different ways, but they mostly fall into two main types: Read Cold or Read Ahead. In a Read Cold group, the Readers (Listeners) sit around a table (physical or virtual), possibly with a copy of the ms to mark up, listening as the Author reads the work aloud. An advantage to this type of group is that you get to hear how the author intends to work to sound, where he places the emphases, those minor intonations that are lost in print, and the tone of the characters. The problem is that you do get to hear how the author intends the work to sound…an opportunity the final readers won’t have. You also have the chance to quiz the author about his intentions…again not a possibility for the intended audience.

On the other hand, in a Read Ahead group, the Author sends his work out to the Readers, and they read it at their leisure, when, where, and how they prefer…just as would all the folks who pick up the book later. This type of group can better identify where the author hasn’t quite said what he meant. If the flow isn’t quite right, the word choice a bit off, the details not there, the Readers will notice and mark where they had problems. Running a group this way is better for the Author but requires more work for the Readers, so you’ll have to decide where to set the balance.

We are going to assume you have a Read Ahead group as we continue our discussion. If you’ve opted for a Read Cold group, some of the following recommendations may not apply.

Critique Group Organisation

Some groups have written rules, others just verbal or understood rules. Many groups discuss multiple genres, others focus on just one. Some want to read a WIP, others have prompts, so authors can work on writing skills in general, applying those skills to a larger project later. There are advantages and disadvantages to any decision you make about your group, so again, consider how you will maintain an appropriate workload on everyone involved.

Some decisions that should be considered before getting too far are:

  • How many members?
    too few, not enough feedback
    too many, too much to read
  • Where and when to meet?
    someone’s home, a coffee shop, virtually
    once a week, once a month, when you’re ready
  • Types of submissions?
    WIP, finished product, prompt based
  • Size of submissions?
    too big, no time to read properly
    too small, not enough to critique

Although there shouldn’t be a boss or president, a facilitator or host certainly can help things run more smoothly. The responsibility of hosting can rotate through the group, depending on where the meetings are held.

Running a Critique Group

Each member has different tasks at different times. Here are some quick bullets that the members can keep in mind.

Before the Meeting

  • The Author (submitter)
    • Select the text to be critiqued
    • Format it for critiquing, not for publication
    • Distribute it to the Readers (in plenty of time)
  • The Readers (critiquers)
    • Read as you normally do and comment
    • Mark confusing spots or things that threw you out
    • Use margins and spaces between lines to give details
    • Show up to the meeting on time and ready
  • The Host
    • Provide appropriate environment
    • Offer pens, pencils, and paper for notetaking
    • Have reference materials available

During the Meeting

  • The Readers (critiquers)
    • Point out places for improvement,
      giving examples of possible changes
    • Don’t waste time discussing minor points,
      just mark them and move on
    • Listen to comments of other Readers,
      speak up only when you have something useful to add
    • Be encouraging and point out where the story works well,
      sandwich your negatives between positives
  • The Author (submitter)
    • Listen carefully to comments
    • Take notes of discussions
    • Ask for clarification,
      but don’t explain what you meant
      (If it isn’t clear to the Reader, consider fixing it.)
  • The Host
    • Keep the group focused
    • Don’t be bossy
    • If the group gets out of control,
      offer drinks, snacks, or a quick break
    • Schedule the next meeting,
      time and place

After the Meeting

  • The Host
    • Check on absent members
    • Motivate non-submitting members
    • Send out a reminder of the next meeting
  • The Readers (critiquers)
    • Support fellow writers
    • Brag about how much better the book is now
    • Attend book launches, signings, or promotions
  • The Author (submitter)
    • Put marked submissions aside,
      have a drink, put your feet up, relax
    • Later, carefully review suggestions offered,
      remember they are intended to improve your work
    • Accept or Reject each idea,
      you have the final word
    • Edit your ms, then read it over
    • Acknowledge assistance of the group,
      include them in your Front Matter

How to Do the Critique

Consider the needs of the members…what kind or level of feedback does each author want? This could change from submission to submission, so be clear. Does the author want fixes or just problems pointed out? Pay attention to the basics of writing: characters, conflict, dialogue, pacing, plot, setting, structure. Don’t address things that won’t change, such as genre or subject matter. Focus on improving the work, not “fixing” the author.

When pointing out problems, explain why it doesn’t work, then offer some kind of fix…your suggestion may not be used, but it may spark an idea that the author can use to rectify the issue. Keep your comments as objective as possible. Yes, your feelings about the readings will be subjective, but step back and see if you can explain why you feel that way. Position your comments from a personal view, not “Your characters are flat,” rather “I have trouble creating real, rounded characters as well.”

In the end, all you want to do is help others improve their work as they help you improve yours. You get early reviews from sensible but impartial people—the best kind.

Stimulus Response

As an extension to Scene and Sequel, we are going to look at a classic experiment done by Ivan Pavlov. Most folks will quickly associate Pavlov with dogs, as that is how he is best known…training dogs to salivate at the ringing of a bell, in anticipation of being fed. We’re going to look at how that same connection of a Stimulus eliciting a Response can be used in writing.

Both Scenes and Sequels can be portrayed as combinations of Stimulus and Response pairs. In creating an action Scene (or even a relaxing Sequel), the Hero (or POV character) does something because of some kind of provocation. The combination of these two can reveal the Hero’s motivations as well as drive the story action along, letting your readers experience the story as if it were real.

Differences

There are fundamental differences between the Stimulus and the Response, so we’ll cover those specifics first.

  • Stimulus (S)

Always outside your Hero, and noticeable to any observer, the Stimulus has to be something that he can see, or hear, or taste, or feel, or smell. Properly done, the reader can experience it as well. Usually presented from a Third Person POV…think of a camera filming the scene. What can be seen from an outsider’s view? No need to be complicated or involved…a simple description will usually suffice.

  • Response

This happens inside the Hero and is personal, so now is your chance to be in his POV, to know what he knows, to feel what he feels. Presented in a separate paragraph from the Stimulus, it is more involved because inner actions take place on three different levels, but the parts have to always occur in the correct order because of biological limitations.

    • Almost instantaneously—Emotional Response (ER)
    • A fraction of a second later—Instinctual Response (IR)
    • A quick moment after that—Rational Response (RR)

If you mix up the chain of events, it won’t feel real, ruining the experience for your reader. You can speed up the pace of the story by leaving out one or two of the steps, but be certain to keep the remaining ones in the right order.

Example

Now let’s see these parts in action. Here’s a possible happening in a typical story:

The biggest, ugliest soldier Patrick had ever seen charged out of the crowd right at him. (S)

Patrick froze (ER) and stared (IR). In the slow motion that seemed to envelop everything, he scanned the soldier up and down (RR), from his immense, misshapen face, to his armour made of bones strung together as a shirt, down to his madly pistoning legs. Patrick watched small rocks bounce as each deformed foot hit the ground. The grotesque chest expanded and contracted with every breath. Bulging biceps tensed and relaxed as the disfigured arms swung back and forth. Massive jowls vibrated on the monster’s face in rhythm with the pounding feet.

The Stimulus is obvious to any observer and is followed almost immediately by an Emotional Response, then quickly followed by an Instinctual Response. We then have a more involved Rational Response. By slowing down time in Patrick’s POV, we can get specifics that might be otherwise missed, heightening the tension.

This Response is then followed by another Stimulus-Response pair:

As he scanned higher, Patrick finally saw the sword. (S)

Patrick gasped at its size, (IR) well over six feet long and obviously so heavy that Patrick was amazed at how Ugly was brandishing it. Patrick watched the wind up and knew that his head was the target. (RR)

In this last Response, we are missing the Emotional phase, but the rest are there…in the right order.

Example Continued

Now we continue with another pair, but this time with a more detailed Stimulus:

As he stared, Patrick saw an arrow pierce Ugly’s arm, then another. Two more penetrated his other arm, three landed in his chest, more in each leg. (S)

None of them slowed him down. (RR)

A longer Stimulus is followed by a truncated Response, then back to another Stimulus:

Ugly kept coming, sword raised high. (S)

Unmoving, (ER) Patrick stared in curiosity at the glint of the sun on the edge of the sword. With it coming down straight at his head, he considered what it would feel like to have his head split in two. (RR)

Using time dilation, we can really get into Patrick’s thoughts and feelings, making him a more complete character.

Not wanting to leave Patrick in such a situation, let’s conclude the encounter:

With the sword in mid down-stroke, a rock, no, more of a boulder, came flying over Patrick’s shoulder. It hit Ugly’s forearm, splintering the armour, then the arm itself, shattering the bone, sending the sword into a spin. With no force behind it, the sword just barely tapped Patrick on the side of the head—enough to knock him to all fours as it landed beside him. (S)

Patrick finally breathed again (IR), sat back on his heels, and just stared at the body twitching in front of him, almost a dozen arrow wounds pulsing with each heartbeat. (RR)

Ugly’s legs were still trying to run, in spite of the fact that he was lying there bleeding to death. (S)

The hatred in Ugly’s eyes burned into Patrick’s memory (ER) as the massive body quivered one last time, then went still as the eyes glazed over, the monster no longer moving. Patrick shivered. (IR)

Clean Up Previous Writings

As you can see, Stimuli followed by varied Responses can draw the reader into and through a scene. Continue alternating until you get to the end of the scene. Keep it going for a while, but not too long. Don’t let it be tedious.

After you’ve written up a good stretch of your story, go back and analyse your writing to find the Stimulus and Response pairs. Break down the Responses to make certain they are in the correct order…then share it with your Critique Group and see what they have to say.