Author Intrusion

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First time writers (as well as a few seasoned authors) are likely to insert their opinions into their writing…whether they are aware of it or not, and that’s just the trouble. You need to know when it’s your characters talking or your narrator telling the story…and not you lecturing the reader. New writers need to remember that the story is intended to be viewed through the characters in a fictional world.

Readers are here for the character’s story…not the author’s opinion on things. They want to imagine that the world you’ve created is real. Any intrusions can distract or confuse readers when it upsets the flow, and it’s annoying, too. Readers will be disappointed that they’ve been kicked out of the story by the interruption.

Now, it’s perfectly fine for characters to have opinions…it adds to their personality, but it needs to fit in the story. The problem is that the author has to create all the characters…including the protagonist…he just has to be careful to not inadvertently create a copy of himself. As much as you may want to, you don’t get to live in your story world vicariously through your creations. Yes, they are your creations, and you are the god of this world, but although they may be made in your image, they are not you. You are the author, not a character in the story. Escapism is one thing, but you can’t get there from here.

On the other hand, using personal experience is not intrusion. If you’ve lived through a car crash, then having your characters succumb to the same physical and emotional trauma you experienced is perfectly fine. The feelings you had, when felt by your characters, helps make your world seem real.

Examples

There are a few different places where Author Intrusion shows up. We are going to address two main areas, but there are others, so keep an eye out for them.

Politics

Some intrusions come about due to trying to be politically correct. If your antagonist really is a bad guy, then he should think and talk like one, no holds barred. There is no need to comment on his badness.

  • “Those weirdos from Mars should all be rounded up and dumped on an island,” Paul said. It wasn’t the right thing to do, but that’s how he felt.

It’s obviously not Paul who thinks it isn’t right…that’s the author letting us know that he doesn’t think it’s right. On the other hand, Paul does think it’s right. In his mind, that’s what needs to be done—he’s a bad guy, through and through, but that’s fine, as antagonists often are. You need to remember that the characters you create are not you. They can be, and often are, very different from you, the author. If the readers can’t figure out that Paul is in the wrong, then it isn’t your job to tell them.

An author’s personal opinions shouldn’t come out of the mouths of characters who obviously don’t feel that way.

  • Erik knelt and placed his spear point down, in deference to the untouched maiden in front of him.

Virginity may be a Judeo-Christian concept held in high esteem, but to the Vikings, it wasn’t even considered. Be careful to avoid writing into your story notions that don’t fit in with the time, locale, or civilisations you are depicting.

Knowledge

Frequently concepts that should be foreign to the characters…but obviously not to the author or readers…somehow get mentioned.

  • William hefted his sword, blocking the sunlight glaring off his opponent’s shield, desperately in need of a good pair of sunglasses.

Hello? The medieval knight wants sunglasses? Not likely. The author would want them in that situation, and any reader would understand the need, but the character shouldn’t be thinking that. You need to keep modern thoughts out of your historical character’s minds…unless William is a time traveller! That would make all the difference.

Knowledge common to readers and authors…but not to characters…can slip in if you’re not careful. Also any research you’ve done can influence your knowledge, but unless the characters have access to the same source of information, they can’t comment on it.

  • “Watson, come here. I need you,” Bell said into the first functional telephone, not knowing that in the future everyone would carry one in their pockets.

If he doesn’t know it, then it shouldn’t be here.

Research done by the author to add a semblance of reality needs to be suppressed if the characters wouldn’t know it.

  • Mike leaned over and whispered, “You mean it will go boom, like when U-235 is impacted by a neutron and splits into Krypton, a noble gas, and Barium, an alkaline earth metal?”

No one actually talks like that, not even an expert in the field of atomic fission, but an author who has over-researched the topic might feel he has to share what he’s learned…and instead of telling us in narrative, he forces one of his characters to spout the nonsense, thinking he can then blame the character for it.

Let the characters speak for themselves.

Avoiding Intrusion

Try to picture the story from the viewpoint of your characters. If you’ve created full characters, not flat ones, they will know what they want to say and do, so let them. Step back from your writing, as you’re writing it…and afterwards. Put it on a shelf for a couple weeks, then read it over again. If anything seems out of place, it probably is. There’s nothing wrong with general knowledge and familiarity with how things work, but the details need to be left up to experts, not your commonplace characters.

Your Beta Readers and Critique Partners will often point out places where it sounds like you talking, not the characters. If you can’t see it, they will. Take their advice and clean it up. If there are certain words that you use in normal life, watch out for your characters using them, too. You may be an expert in some field, but are your characters? Let them go consult an expert in the story, not have all the knowledge they need right at hand.

When you try to balance things out by putting in a character who has a different opinion than you do, but then make him look stupid for that, then you are revealing how you really feel about the topic. Each character should have his or her own personality, different from each other and you. If the reader stops to question the motivation of a character, there is something wrong.

Don’t worry if your Beta Readers or Critique Partners don’t catch it…your editor should, but do you really want to rely on the skills of others? Or would you rather just do it right the first time?

Intentional Intrusion

There are times when you may want to include Author Intrusion as a literary device. That’s fine to do, just make certain that your readers know that’s what you are doing. Many famous authors have done so with impunity. If you feel you can follow in the footsteps of great authors, you are welcome to try, just consider the techniques of the successful ones first. In theatre and movies, this practice is known as breaking the fourth wall…the wall separating the audience from the action. If a character or the narrator turns and speaks directly to the audience, it won’t confuse your reader, just jump right in and say it.

Examples

Isaac Asimov was great for this, as he would often address the reader directly with “Dear Reader”. You knew he, as the author, was talking directly to you, as a reader, and it seemed so casual and direct that you welcomed the discussion he was having with you.

Of course, in non-fiction, it isn’t too much of a stretch to see the author as a teacher addressing students. In fiction, it could be a bit of a distraction to have the author step in and talk to the reader. You’re there for the action and excitement of the story…not a sit-down with someone who will be teaching you something, but it has been done…and can work quite well.

Charlotte Brontë speaks directly to the reader in setting up a scene. For example, consider this extract from Jane Eyre: “A new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play; and when I draw up the curtain this time, reader, you must fancy you see a room in the George Inn at Millcote, with such large figured papering on the walls as inns have; such a carpet, such furniture, such ornaments on the mantle-piece…”

Think about The Princess Bride…the author is telling us about having a story read to him by his father but written by someone else completely. That frees up Goldman to talk to the reader about the inner story being read. (Known as a Frame Story, it is a literary device all on its own.)


If you do decide to try your hand at intentional intrusion, be careful, as it can appear, if not done well, to be lazy writing. It is best used in satire or where the intrusion is obviously ironic. Good luck!