This time we are going to look at a trope (a motif or theme that appears in literature, similar to a cliché but not necessarily negative) that seems to crop up in many new writer’s works. It is the attempt by the writer to avoid using a character’s name repeatedly. The term comes from detective magazines where teams of writers all work on the same series. For some reason, they prefer to not use the main character’s name, rather mentioning him using various alternate descriptions.
Instead of saying that Dick Tracy did something, they would say that the “tall man” did it, or the “blond gumshoe”, or the “man from France”, or the “burly detective”…hence the name. It appears in many places, especially dialogue tags when the speaker’s name would normally appear, and that’s where we are going to focus our efforts today.
Examples
Here are some samples that I just made up on the spot. They are a bit overboard, but you can get the idea.
Detective story:
- “Let’s see the body,” Dick Tracy said.
- “Over here.” The sergeant pointed.
- “Looks gruesome,” the blond investigator said.
- “Been there overnight,” the uniformed officer said.
- Shaking his head, the plain-clothed cop flipped the body over.
- The beat constable said, “Never seen that before.”
- “A new one every day,” the confident sleuth said.
Romance story:
- Jill glanced over at the new guy. “Who is he?” she asked.
- Karen leaned back. “Good looking, isn’t he?”
- The blonde nodded. “Good enough to eat,” she said licking her lips.
- “You might want to get to know him first,” the stately woman said.
- Nodding, the lady in blue adjusted her neckline.
- Her friend said, “Is that how you’re going to snare him?”
- “It’s worked before,” the bosomy female said, smiling.
Fantasy story:
- Elladan tipped his head as he listened.
- “What do you hear?” Morwen asked.
- The tall elf waved his hand for silence.
- Leaning in close, the elven maiden closed her eyes to focus.
- Raising a finger, the white-blond fellow spoke softly, “In the distance…a disturbance.”
- Nodding, the svelte nymph said, “Yes, I hear it now.”
- The ruler of the clan reached for his bow.
- The princess dropped her hand to the hilt of her sword.
- “Be ready,” the young monarch said.
As you can see, the effort to avoid reusing the character’s name can get quite confusing…and a bit comical. (And trying to come up with all those different ways to describe characters is rather time-consuming!)
Cleaned up Examples
Let’s look at those same examples…but this time, let’s clean up the problems…and still get all the information across to the reader.
Detective story:
- “Let’s see the body,” Dick Tracy said.
- “Over here.” The sergeant pointed. (minor character, so no name used)
- “Looks gruesome,” Tracy said. (use last name only to be formal)
- “Been there overnight.” (only two in this conversation, so no need to re-identify every time)
- Shaking his head, he flipped the body over. (alternating speakers, so it’s clear who does this)
- The sergeant shuddered. “Never seen that before.” (use same generic identifier)
- “A new one every day,” Tracy said confidently.
Romance story:
- Jill smiled over at the new guy. “Who is he?” she asked.
- Karen leaned back. “Good looking, isn’t he?”
- She nodded. “Good enough to eat,” she said licking her lips. (it’s clear that it’s not Karen)
- “You might want to get to know him first.” (only two of them here, so no need to repeat)
- Nodding, Jill adjusted the neckline of her blue dress. (if the colour is important)
- Her friend laughed. “Is that how you’re going to snare him?” (show relationship)
- “It’s worked before,” she said, smiling at her exposed cleavage. (show physical description)
Fantasy story:
- Elladan tipped his head as he listened.
- “What do you hear?” Morwen asked.
- He waved his hand for silence. (we should already know he’s an elf)
- Leaning in close, she closed her eyes to focus. (‘he’ and ‘she’ work well in this situation)
- Raising a finger, he spoke softly, “In the distance…a disturbance.” (different genders makes it easy)
- Nodding, she agreed. “Yes, I hear it now.”
- He reached for his bow. (we should already know his position in the clan)
- She dropped her hand to the hilt of her sword.
- “Be ready,” he said.
Confusing?
Clearly, it’s easier if the scene has two people of opposite gender, but even so, all those new and different ways to identify the speaker could be confusing…just how many people are standing around talking? In all three of these examples, there are only two, but with the Burly Detective descriptions in the first set, there could be three, four, five, or even more individual people.
Unless you are intentionally writing a parody, try to avoid overusing descriptions in dialogue tags. Either stick with a single name for your character or just leave it out. We’ll know who is who…as long as you’ve created real, believable characters.