Month: June 2020

Finding the Right Word

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Generally when writing you’ll need a good set of reference books, including a good dictionary and a complete thesaurus. The problem often is that there are so many out there to choose from, it’s difficult to pick just one. We’ve got a few that we like that we’d like to share with you.

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”
—Mark Twain

Dictionary

The biggest caveat is make certain you pick one that matches your language and style. If you prefer British English (BE) over American English (AE), then stick with dictionaries published in Great Britain. If one makes you sound all stuffy and proper, but you prefer to write more casual and friendly, pick another.

Online dictionaries abound including American Heritage, Collins Unabridged, Dictionary.com (based on Random House Webster), Merriam-Webster, and of course, the OED (check with your local library to get free access) or Lexico (free, but powered by Oxford).

We prefer using Wiktionary, for completeness and keeping current with usage. On that point, we are aware that some words come and go in popularity, so we tend to consult the Ngram viewer in Google Books for timeliness of word use. (Very handy if you’re wanting to keep in tradition with a historical era.)

Thesaurus

Many dictionaries have a thesaurus as well, each with different tools that can guide you to the concept you need. Some are advert based, such as Thesaurus.com (tied to Dictionary.com), so just keep scrolling to find other word meanings.

Besides those, there are some rather unique methods of finding the right word.

  • Power Thesaurus lets you limit your search to specific parts of speech, so it might get you closer to the word you need. Be warned: it claims to be crowdsourced, so some of the connections are a bit vague.
  • Twin Word Writer has an interesting feature if you don’t mind typing your copy into a website. As long as you keep typing, it stays quiet in the background, but if you slow down or pause, it will make suggestions on the last word you’ve written. Pasting in a section of text will also allow you to dissect it for a variety of options such as the tone of your writing, a word-by-word count, or a list of tags that seem to apply. To get recommendations, just click on any word, then mouse over the list to see it in your sentence. There is no need to log in if you stick to the web based version, but don’t paste in too much at one time, just a few paragraphs should be enough. (Be advised: It doesn’t seem to understand apostrophes.)

Visual

  • Visuwords allows you to see the relationships between words. In the example given, I searched for the word ‘guts’ and got nouns (in blue) and adjectives (sorta yellow-orange). There didn’t happen to be any adverbs (would be shown in pink-red) or verbs (green). The line of red triangles shows that ‘guts’ is a colloquialism, and the stretched out, red diamonds connecting to ‘gutless’ shows it is an opposite. The long, skinny, teal triangle shows that ‘guts’ is a kind of ‘fortitude’…and ‘fortitude’ is a kind of ‘bravery’. The dotted grey line shows that ‘gutsy’ is derived from ‘guts’. Lots of info just on that one screen…but if you point to any dot, you’ll get a definition, and double-clicking will bring up the links to that Grabbing any dot and dragging will let you move dots on the edge back to the middle, so you can see them better.
  • Visual Thesaurus is another option that shows how words are related, and besides showing the parts of speech, you can actually limit (or focus on) the parts of speech you want. You only get a limited number of searches unless you sign up for the paid service, but if you plan to use this thesaurus often, it isn’t a bad deal: $20/yr…just don’t spend too much time playing around with it…get back to your writing!

Topic Sort

If you prefer printed reference books, make certain to get a topic-sorted thesaurus…not dictionary sort. The dictionary sort may be a bit quicker and easier when looking up one or two words because it is sorted alphabetically, but if you’re having problems find the right idea, a topic sort is much better. A dictionary sort puts ‘black’ and ‘blue’ fairly near each other, but ‘green’, ‘red’, and ‘yellow’ much farther away. In a topic sort, all the colours will be adjacent, often with opposites right next to each other.

For example, you can find Whiteness in section 430, immediately followed by Blackness in 431. That entry references section 421 just a couple pages back, Darkness, which proceeds Dimness, 422. So, if you don’t know exactly what colour the night sky is on a distant planet, you might find some good ideas here: Blackness gives ‘black as thunder’, Darkness has ‘the palpable obscure’, and Dimness offers ‘cloudy, misty, hazy, foggy, muggy, fuliginous, nebulous, lowering, overcast, crepuscular, muddy, lurid, and looming’. Take your pick!

Resist the Urge to Explain

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New writers tend to over explain things, telling the reader details that are either irrelevant altogether or just not needed right now. It’s true that a reader just picking up a new book knows nothing about the background or the characters or the setting or any of the situation, but instead of telling everything, try just showing a little bit about things as they come up in the action.

In general, you shouldn’t need to explain anything…readers are smart enough to figure out what’s going on…given the enough info. Besides, doling out details as the story progresses is a good way to keep the reader interested. Most readers want to anticipate what is going to happen next…and love to be wrong. Holding back tidbits of info keeps up the mystery and tension, leading to escalating conflict…exactly what we want, but you have to take care that you don’t withhold too much…aim for the Goldilocks zone, not too hot, not too cold.

Often new writers feel that they need to describe all the details of a scene…in spite of the fact that those details never play a role in the story—that could cause Purple Prose. Sometimes writers want to include all the interesting facts they’ve discovered when researching some point of the story—that could lead to an Info Dump. Both of these situations could be cured by considering Chekhov’s Gun and cutting anything that doesn’t belong. When the author’s opinion is used to justify things that are in the story, that is Author Intrusion.

Here, we are going to examine two other places where extraneous info tends to collect: dialogue and new technology…in Sci-Fi, Fantasy, or just near-future stories. We’ll look at how you can cut back on the specifics and still have your story understood.

Dialogue

We should be able to tell how your characters are feeling by the way they say things. If not, adding on an explanation in the tag doesn’t really help. This problem crops up when adverbs get stuck on tags. Instead of adverbs, try a short action instead, and trust your reader to figure it out.

  • Unnecessary adverb
    • “I’m sorry,” Bill said apologetically.
    • “I’m so happy,” Dawn said brightly.
  • Action that shows emotion
    • “I’m sorry,” Bill said as he wiped a tear.
    • “I’m so happy,” Dawn said as she jumped up and gave Frank a hug.

On the other hand, unless it is necessary, try to avoid having characters tell us how they’re feeling. Put it into action and let us see their emotions. It should be obvious from the previous scene, but if not, then add in a few more clues.

  • Action instead of dialogue
    • Bill sat down next to Alice and put his arm around her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze.
    • Dawn’s face lit up as she ran across the room to greet Frank, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

Sarcasm is difficult to show in speech alone, so in those cases, it may be necessary to use a dialogue tag that shows an opposite emotion.

  • “I’m sorry you didn’t win,” Bill said with a grin, hefting the trophy over his head.
  • “I’m so happy,” Dawn said with a scowl, staring in shock at the test stick showing a blue plus.

The key is to watch out for any mention of a character’s emotion…when you find it, just cut it out. If the emotion is still obvious, then all’s well. If not, then rewrite the section until it is.

Technology

Although this problem is typical in Sci-Fi and Fantasy, it isn’t limited to those genres. If you are writing a contemporary novel, one of your characters might have a new-fangled cell phone (the Note 25.6 Mark II or iPhone 15.3A). Interrupting the story to explain the techie features doesn’t move the plot along—letting us see how the character uses it does. When introducing new technology, whether crucial to the story or not, it’s tempting to stop and discuss it…but don’t. If it isn’t clear what the gadget does from the way it’s used, then there’s a bigger problem.

An excellent example I’ve come across is when Heinlein casually mentions that a door ‘dilated’. He didn’t waste anyone’s time explaining it—he just let the reader assume that it was significantly different yet somehow similar to what we already know, and by not stating it outright, he gives a feeling of much more…a world that is so changed that dilating doors are routine and not worth commenting on.

Consider your audience on this, too. If I say, ‘phaser’, there are some readers who will know exactly what I mean…no need to explain anything. Then again, a slew of readers will have no idea what that entails. I could stop to explain it…or just move on and let them figure it out as we go. You decide how much detail you need to add to widen your audience…without boring those who already understand the reference.

Don’t Talk Down to Your Reader

In general, if you feel the need to explain, you may be assuming your readers are idiots…they aren’t. Ever tell a joke and have to explain the punchline? It didn’t go over very well, did it? The same thing happens when you interrupt the story to clarify what’s going on. Either the reader gets it…or you need to rewrite that section to give them better clues to understand it without disrupting the story.

Elevator Speech

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What do elevators have to do with writing…much less marketing? Maybe not much…but then again maybe everything—they could allow you the opportunity to access the Agents and Acquisitions Editors you need, so you can be discovered by one of the big presses. The term Elevator Speech came about because when an elevator is moving from floor to floor, you have a captive audience…and an chance to tell them all about your book. There’s little reason for your hostages to politely complain…they just have to wait until the doors open, then they can escape, but until then, you have their attention.

Now, think what could happen at a writing conference…one of those folks trapped in the elevator with you could be just the person who has been ignoring your attempts to contact them. Too bad you don’t have a brief and pithy way to convince them that your book is worth their time…unless you’ve perfected your Elevator Speech! The idea is to give enough details, so they want to continue the conversation after they exit the elevator. Sometimes they truly have someplace to be and can’t continue right then and there, but if you’ve caught their interest, you can offer to exchange business cards, so the two of you can re-establish contact later.

How Long Should Your Speech Be?

Although these days Elevator Speeches are seldom actually presented in an elevator, but with speed pitching becoming the way to contact Agents, the concept remains: keep it short enough to avoid boring your listener. An average time for an elevator to go from one floor to the next is about 30 seconds, so your Elevator Speech shouldn’t be much longer than that.

Considering that the typical person speaks from between 100 and 150 words per minute, you need to keep your Elevator Speech to between 50 and 75 words. For more accuracy, count the syllables and divide by 4.5 to get an approximate number of seconds it will take.

In order to focus on the proper details, there are some facts you can, and should, leave out. As surprising as it may sound, you really don’t need the title. At this point, they don’t even know what your story is all about, so they don’t care about the title. After you capture their attention, they will ask you for more—that’s when you give the title and your name. The easiest way is with a business card that has your contact info and a Logline, so they’ll remember which one you are and why they’re interested.

What All Do You Need to Include?

So what do you put in? Similar to creating a Logline but with an emphasis on verbal expression, you need to include the same items:

  • The Main Character—description not name (as with title, irrelevant here), as an outsider would see him
  • A bit of Setting—just enough to set the general scene, time period, genre
  • The Inciting Event in Act I—no detail, just why things have changed
  • The Stakes—what could happen, what the risks are
  • Why the listener should care—the impact the book will have on readers or how they’ll feel after reading it

That covers all the facts, but it probably sounds a bit brusque…like a list. To make it more conversational, you should now fluff it up, improving the flow. Here you can add some style, so the reader will recognize you when he gets his hands on the book.

If we expand on the example we created back in Loglines, we could have something like this:

  • This book is about a former boy scout who wants one last great adventure before going his way in the adult world. Now in his early twenties and just about to finish college, he plans the ultimate campout with some fellow scouts. Using experimental technology, they travel far to experience a new world where they discover more about themselves than they expected and have to make some crucial decisions to ensure that all return safely.

At 75 words it’s right at the top end of the range where it should be, and with a speaking time of 36 seconds, if this is your Elevator Speech, you’d best talk just a bit fast (which shouldn’t be difficult!).

Practice to Perfection

Practice your Elevator Speech aloud a few times, so it becomes second nature. If there are any parts that make you stumble, fix them now before you go public with it. Let your friends and family get tired of hearing it. That way when the topic comes up, you can launch right into it without thinking.

Offer to share your speech with your local librarian. They have to consider thousands of books with only a few seconds to decide which to stock—take any suggestions they offer. Remember, you’re seeking advice, not compliments.

On a plane or a bus, you have a captive audience of one, so ask your seatmate what they think of the idea. Start with your logline, then move on to your Elevator Speech…one caveat: if they seem interested, don’t start unveiling all the details, scene-by-scene. Just thank them for their input and offer a postcard (with Logline and front cover).

Speech or Advert or Blurb?

The nice thing about creating this speech is that you can reuse it in different ways. Besides spoken, you can print it on postcards or bookmarks to use as adverts. Turn it into a Blurb by adding a few quotes from folks who know you or have read the book, showing why you are the only one who could have written it.

When someone you don’t know reads it and want to know more, you’ve succeeded!

Avoiding Purple Prose

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In this posting on writing, we are going to cover another problem often seen in newbie writing: excessive description. Yes, description is needed to orient the reader, and if you leave it out, you’ll have confused and annoyed readers—in fact, one of the worst chapters I read started off with two characters talking…no description of the location, the setting, or even the characters themselves. All I had was two heads in a dark room…very irritating. So let’s go over just what Purple Prose is and how to avoid it.

What is it?

If you have content that doesn’t add to the story, that has exaggerated and irrelevant details, that goes on and on without purpose, you may have Purple Prose. Often containing long stretches of big words and run-on sentences, it can also appear in smaller chunks: Purple Patches. Even a few of these in a story can unsettle the reader and interrupt the flow. Purple Prose makes itself the focus, instead of the storyline and usually messes with the pace of the rest of the narrative.

Let’s be clear, not all ostentatious language is purple. You don’t need to eliminate all highly descriptive language, just the unrestrained depictions that don’t move the story along. Some minimalists feel that following in the footsteps of those such as Hemingway is the way to go, but unless you normally write in that style, you should try to avoid either extreme.

How to Avoid It

So why do so many writers fall into the mistake of Purple Prose? Because they think it makes them look more literary, more highbrow or scholarly, classier. Sadly all it does is show that they have a good thesaurus. Becoming overly dependent on word choice can make it worse. Stick with the words you already know…just tell the story as if you were standing around chatting with friends. That’s the kind of language your reader prefers.

Watch out if you delve into description in the middle of a scene, too…is it really necessary? If so, then put it closer to the beginning, and include only enough to orient the reader to the setting: location, time, and who is there. Make certain to include only relevant details. If the door to the kitchen has to be on the right (because of something later in the book), then put it there when we first encounter it. If it isn’t important which side it’s on, then don’t bother to tell us—the reader assumes that anything you put in is there for a reason (see Chekhov’s Gun).

Proper descriptions will make your story easier for readers to visualise and experience. Make it a good one, and they’ll talk about it to all their friends!