As an extension to Scene and Sequel, we are going to look at a classic experiment done by Ivan Pavlov. Most folks will quickly associate Pavlov with dogs, as that is how he is best known…training dogs to salivate at the ringing of a bell, in anticipation of being fed. We’re going to look at how that same connection of a Stimulus eliciting a Response can be used in writing.
Both Scenes and Sequels can be portrayed as combinations of Stimulus and Response pairs. In creating an action Scene (or even a relaxing Sequel), the Hero (or POV character) does something because of some kind of provocation. The combination of these two can reveal the Hero’s motivations as well as drive the story action along, letting your readers experience the story as if it were real.
Differences
There are fundamental differences between the Stimulus and the Response, so we’ll cover those specifics first.
- Stimulus (S)
Always outside your Hero, and noticeable to any observer, the Stimulus has to be something that he can see, or hear, or taste, or feel, or smell. Properly done, the reader can experience it as well. Usually presented from a Third Person POV…think of a camera filming the scene. What can be seen from an outsider’s view? No need to be complicated or involved…a simple description will usually suffice.
- Response
This happens inside the Hero and is personal, so now is your chance to be in his POV, to know what he knows, to feel what he feels. Presented in a separate paragraph from the Stimulus, it is more involved because inner actions take place on three different levels, but the parts have to always occur in the correct order because of biological limitations.
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- Almost instantaneously—Emotional Response (ER)
- A fraction of a second later—Instinctual Response (IR)
- A quick moment after that—Rational Response (RR)
If you mix up the chain of events, it won’t feel real, ruining the experience for your reader. You can speed up the pace of the story by leaving out one or two of the steps, but be certain to keep the remaining ones in the right order.
Example
Now let’s see these parts in action. Here’s a possible happening in a typical story:
The biggest, ugliest soldier Patrick had ever seen charged out of the crowd right at him. (S)
Patrick froze (ER) and stared (IR). In the slow motion that seemed to envelop everything, he scanned the soldier up and down (RR), from his immense, misshapen face, to his armour made of bones strung together as a shirt, down to his madly pistoning legs. Patrick watched small rocks bounce as each deformed foot hit the ground. The grotesque chest expanded and contracted with every breath. Bulging biceps tensed and relaxed as the disfigured arms swung back and forth. Massive jowls vibrated on the monster’s face in rhythm with the pounding feet.
The Stimulus is obvious to any observer and is followed almost immediately by an Emotional Response, then quickly followed by an Instinctual Response. We then have a more involved Rational Response. By slowing down time in Patrick’s POV, we can get specifics that might be otherwise missed, heightening the tension.
This Response is then followed by another Stimulus-Response pair:
As he scanned higher, Patrick finally saw the sword. (S)
Patrick gasped at its size, (IR) well over six feet long and obviously so heavy that Patrick was amazed at how Ugly was brandishing it. Patrick watched the wind up and knew that his head was the target. (RR)
In this last Response, we are missing the Emotional phase, but the rest are there…in the right order.
Example Continued
Now we continue with another pair, but this time with a more detailed Stimulus:
As he stared, Patrick saw an arrow pierce Ugly’s arm, then another. Two more penetrated his other arm, three landed in his chest, more in each leg. (S)
None of them slowed him down. (RR)
A longer Stimulus is followed by a truncated Response, then back to another Stimulus:
Ugly kept coming, sword raised high. (S)
Unmoving, (ER) Patrick stared in curiosity at the glint of the sun on the edge of the sword. With it coming down straight at his head, he considered what it would feel like to have his head split in two. (RR)
Using time dilation, we can really get into Patrick’s thoughts and feelings, making him a more complete character.
Not wanting to leave Patrick in such a situation, let’s conclude the encounter:
With the sword in mid down-stroke, a rock, no, more of a boulder, came flying over Patrick’s shoulder. It hit Ugly’s forearm, splintering the armour, then the arm itself, shattering the bone, sending the sword into a spin. With no force behind it, the sword just barely tapped Patrick on the side of the head—enough to knock him to all fours as it landed beside him. (S)
Patrick finally breathed again (IR), sat back on his heels, and just stared at the body twitching in front of him, almost a dozen arrow wounds pulsing with each heartbeat. (RR)
Ugly’s legs were still trying to run, in spite of the fact that he was lying there bleeding to death. (S)
The hatred in Ugly’s eyes burned into Patrick’s memory (ER) as the massive body quivered one last time, then went still as the eyes glazed over, the monster no longer moving. Patrick shivered. (IR)
Clean Up Previous Writings
As you can see, Stimuli followed by varied Responses can draw the reader into and through a scene. Continue alternating until you get to the end of the scene. Keep it going for a while, but not too long. Don’t let it be tedious.
After you’ve written up a good stretch of your story, go back and analyse your writing to find the Stimulus and Response pairs. Break down the Responses to make certain they are in the correct order…then share it with your Critique Group and see what they have to say.